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Do you think your husband has a say in what happens during your pregnancy as much as you do?

Someone made a comment that she doesn't think it's the man's business because he's not the one pregnant, but you have to remember you wouldn't even be pregnant if it weren't for him and it's HIS baby too not just the pregnant mother's. I always try to involve my husband in everything I do for myself when I'm pregnant. Honestly, it's not all about me it's about OUR baby.

So do you think your DH(Father of your child) has as much say in the pregnancy as you do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Mar. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (46)
  • men should be involved, but ultimately remain completely out of the loop in formal decision making. It is the woman's body, and even though it is his child, he does not have to endure pregnancy. The woman's decision should always usurp the man's.

    Answer by ObbyDobbie at 11:05 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • But that's unfair because if the woman is making a decision based on it being her body, than what say does the unborn child have what's done to theirs?

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Not as much, no. I do like to get his opinions on things, I do like to make sure he is as involved as he wants to be, but I'm the one pregnant and birthing, not him. He can't possibly know what it's like or what it means to me, and it's MY experience and body that I'm concerned about during pregnancy.

    For example, I did concent to a hospital birth with my first, even though that's not what I wanted, because he was SOOOO terrified of homebirth. I educated him and this time, even though he would still be more comfortable in the hospital, we are having this baby at home. It's my choice and he needs to be supportive of me.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:06 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • My husband has always had a say in my pregnancies. Of course, I chose what to eat, drink, etc., but he got to help with major decisions. He encouraged me to breastfeed, he encouraged me to use a midwife rather than an OB/GYN and he encouraged me not to have an epidural. I did my own research and decided to follow his recommendations. They worked out well for us and I'm doing the same things 3 pregnancies later.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:07 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I'm sure he's supportive of you but he's probably more afraid of something happening to you rather than it being his decision. Will you have a nurse with you atleast?

    Answer by Imogine at 11:09 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I give my husband an equal vote about all pregnancy decisions, the fact that he forfeits his vote nine times out of ten isn't my fault but he knows my intrest is the baby and that I wouldn't do anything to hurt our children. The one point we disagree on is if there were an emergency and they could either save me or the baby I would want them to save the baby but he says he would never consent to them doing that, so hopefully we're never in that situation.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • My husband didn't make a single decision through my three pregnancies except for the actual getting pregnant part. I chose what tests to have or not have, whether I would get an epidural, etc.

    I have to do what's right for me and for the baby not just what is right for the baby.

    Answer by heatheryn at 11:14 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • My husband is my best friend and partner--we discuss issues and make decisions together because that works for our relationship. I could never cut him out of the loop--he's the father of my children, not a sperm donor :) I don't think I would have married someone who didn't have similar values, ideas, etc to me when it came to having and raising children.

    Answer by bethany169 at 11:16 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • What are we talking about here... things like what you eat, whether you drink caffeine, etc? I think if the case can be made that what the mother is doing has direct implications on the baby, then sure, dad has a say. In my relationship, at least, this was a positive thing for all of us... it meant my husband tried to take the best possible care of me and, therefore, of our baby. He also felt that he should support me in the less fun aspects of pregnancy, like forgoing the alcohol, so he also abstained from wine with dinner while I was pregnant. All this said, this shouldn't be a license to be controlling of a woman's body. Whether or not you exercise, how you sleep, that's your body... Now, if you're talking about things like a decision to have an amnio or something like that, I think ideally the couple makes the decision, but in the end it comes down to the woman's decision.

    Answer by EmilySusan at 11:17 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Imogine, no, I won't have a nurse with me. I'm avoiding the medical model for a reason. Homebirth is shown over and over again to be just as safe or safer than hospital birth :) My husband recognizes that he is only more comfortable in the hospital because of his culture and social stigmas on homebirth and not because of facts or evidence.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 11:22 AM on Mar. 5, 2010

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