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Is it unreasonable?

That when I ask my husband if I can go do something, and have him watch the kids, that I would like him to be honest with me and say no, or maybe later, or not right now, instead of getting mad at me and stopping off. Should we not be able to talk about it?

And when I try to talk to him about his response of getting mad at me and rolling his eyes and walking off, cause in his mind how dare I ask him any questions at all. He turns around and says why is it me always doing something wrong?

I know this is really stupid, but it happens so often.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Mar. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • IMO it sounds like a passive aggressive way to control you.

    Answer by gulfcoastmom4 at 2:28 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I've been married for 14 years and we are still working on communication issues. Just try talking to him about it and also LISTEN to his side.Good luck mama!

    Answer by writeon at 2:28 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Perhaps try a different approach. Instead of asking, just tell him and then go. You are not being unreasonable, not one bit.

    Answer by Pnukey at 2:31 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • if this happens over and over then maybe you should listen to what he's really saying without saying it. He's trying to be honest just without words. The message is he doesn't want to do it. Even I heard that and I wasn't there!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I did try talking to him, and his response was, 1. I should not be asking him questions? and 2. Why is always about him doing something wrong? It kind of turns into a pitty party for himself. And to the first person who respond, yes he has a history of trying to control me. That is why this is the last year that I am going to give this a shot, and if things don't get better, I am done. We have been married for 8 years and I am just so tired of all the crap.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:34 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I know he doesn't want to do it, but he doesn't need to treat me like crap, he should be an adult and just say, Honey I would rather you not, or no not right now or just no.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Stop asking and start telling him. Maybe start off slow by taking the youngest with you and leaving the oldest with him. Tell him I'm taking Johnny, keep and eye on Sue. and go out the freaking door! Hopefully your older child is at least old enough to watch TV without sticking a fork in the electric socket! Even if he did fess up and say NO Honey I don't feel like watching the kids, what then you just stay trapped in the house and run out of milk, never get your hair cut and forget about that visit for your anual pap? Maybe he needs advanced notice. Come home in a good mood on Tuesday because you are watching the kids while I do my thing. Another way to start off slow is to tell him that you need a shower the minute he walks in the door. Lock the door and don't come out for an hour.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:56 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Just get dressed, and as you are walking out the door say "I'm going _______, thanks for watching the kids. I'll be back in a few hours." and leave.

    Answer by hobbitswife04 at 3:25 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • "cause in his mind how dare I ask him any questions at all" that is a huge problem. i have an idea. since he doesnt like you ASKING him questions ... just start TELLING him what you are going to do... on your way out the door (shoes and coat on, etc) holler up to him... i am going to the store, watch the kids! walk out the door. stick your head back in. yell --- i have my cell if you have any questions i will be back in an hour --- love you!! at least do it once. so he gets off his high horse.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 3:40 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Sounds like an ass. Says to me he doesn't mind you being 'stuck' with the kids all the time while he goes off like a free agent but you doing it is a problem. He needs to stop the sulky responses. They are his kids too. Maybe in future do less asking and more stating your intent.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

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