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The real question for BF mothers

What is your intended purpose when you utter a single word about BF to someone you KNOW is formula feeding? Do you expect them to convert? Should they put their child in foster care? Aside from being a bully (or any other b word you'd care to substitute), for what specific reason are you giving FF mothers YOUR opinion on their act of formula feeding?

If you see someone say they FF because they were "unable to bf" how is it your place to question if that reason is "valid"? Is it even any of your business?

But mainly, W H Y are you discussing BF with mothers you KNOW are FF and have been for months?

Answer Question
 
NotPanicking

Asked by NotPanicking at 3:47 PM on Mar. 5, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 51 (421,172 Credits)
Answers (36)
  • Actually I have never commented a ff mother but have gotten nasty comments by them because i breastfeed. I think a lot of them assumed i thought poorly of them and got defensive and insulted me before a word ever came out of my mouth and I didn't plan to say anything to them so then yea I will get nasty after the fact. I personally do not have a problem with formula I have used it when needed if I don't get to pump enough. I work now and even before that there were times someone else had to feed my son from a bottle either pumped milk or formula. I think it goes both ways, people are crummy all around. Where I live breastfeeding is rare and people treat me like a freak with no arms or something.

    Crystal8327

    Answer by Crystal8327 at 3:51 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I don't have an answer, but I've often thought the same thing. I nursed my children to a point, but also used formula. Once a mother is no longer producing milk, its not going to do much to tell them they are bad for not nursing. And in reality, even before they are no longer producing milk, bashing them for using or thinking about using formula isn't going to do a think.

    You'll catch more bees with honey than vinager.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:53 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • What I loose my right to free speech just because you don't like WHAT YOU THINK I'M GOING TO SAY? If I causaully mention that I breast fed 3 children and then move along does that jive with your expectation?
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 3:54 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I don't get it either, NP. I tried, and still got lectured even though my daughter couldn't nurse and was still losing weight (and too much of it for a preterm baby- she got close to losing a full pound when she'd only weighted a little over 5 lbs to begin with, so I KNOW she wasn't getting enough). And the validity of me saying, "I could not BF" was still questioned. For someone who wanted to and really, really tried but didn't want to see her baby starving like that, being told you should've tried harder DOES hurt.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • With my first she would nod off every feeding time. No amount of trying would make her wake up. Therefore I never produced an adequate supply when she was ready. After 5 weeks of a constantly crying baby I reluctantly put her on formula. That saved my sanity. It is a mother's choice period. I wil be TTC and DH's VR and will not breast feed my next baby bacause I have breast implants and do not want the wear and tear on them. But that's my private business and any outside stranger can kiss my butt because I've BF and FF both my kids and they are as healthy as any other normal kid. Do what's right for you.
    modaddict17

    Answer by modaddict17 at 3:55 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Utter a single work indeed! You are one rude mama! I have every right to utter a single word. And you have no right to complain unless I should happen to get up on a soap box and start preaching at you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Ditto Crystal, exactly....except thankfully, most of my friends did BF so I had support. Those who didn't, including my very best friend, were never judged by me. **For me**, bfing was the best choice and I'm proud of it, but I can't make any choice for someone else and it is certainly not my place to judge.
    gramsmom

    Answer by gramsmom at 3:57 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Utter a single work indeed! You are one rude mama! I have every right to utter a single word. And you have no right to complain unless I should happen to get up on a soap box and start preaching at you


    Aww, that was sweet, brought a tear to my eye. Now how about you try actually answering the question.
    NotPanicking

    Answer by NotPanicking at 3:58 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • This bf vs ff is getting really old and tired on this site too might I add. Extremists are on both sides on this site. FF who make bf feeders like myself feel like there is something wrong with me and the bfeeders who think if you ever use formula you are a bad mother like myself. I get my period now starting at 4 month pp when this happens my supply dips luckily for only a day or two than returns to normal but it does drop and affect his diaper output and just the other day i had to supplement with formula because my poor son had dry diapers and i ran out of pumped milk because i only use that for when im at work 3 days a week. My point being i have been bashed by both sites and it mostly occurs on this site. Its lame
    Crystal8327

    Answer by Crystal8327 at 3:58 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I agree with you Crystal. Back when I was BF I felt like I was looked down on, especially by DH's family.
    modaddict17

    Answer by modaddict17 at 3:59 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

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