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Homeless 19 year old

My son who is 19 is asking me if his friend can move in with us. I live with my 78 y/o mom w/multiple medical problems and my 82 y/o dad who has dementia. We have 3 bedrooms and one bathroom. I feel terrible that I don't feel like I can handle having this friend move in here, even temporarily. Does anyone have any ideas?

 
kjrn79

Asked by kjrn79 at 6:19 PM on Mar. 5, 2010 in Adult Children (18+)

Level 22 (14,066 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • KJRN79;I would take this kid for say a month or so,talk to him,maybe suggest going into the Military(NAVY) -(COAST-GUARD) this way he will always have a place to got to,a job,benefits,pension,food a bed to sleep in,and in the mean time,doing something he can be Proud of,making something of himself. You can always be the the surrogate Mother who's *son* is in the service,where you keep in touch,send carepackages to. He can even go to college through the military. don't let this boy be homeless, help him become a man to stand on his 2 feet-he will never forget what you did for him.. good-luck
    Somma

    Answer by Somma at 2:07 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • Does your sons friend have any other friends he could stay with?
    Liz132

    Answer by Liz132 at 6:26 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Have you meet his friend? MAybe he could help out with some things..THAT'S if you feel you can trust him...IF it wasnt for my friends mom I would have ended up in a pretty bad place at 19..She let me in her home..took me a few times to get that i had to respect some one..but i did get it after a few fights lol..thanks to her I was able to make job interviews and get to work..all i had to do was clean the house and respect her
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:26 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • tell him mabe for 1 month or so,just to see how things go,tell him that he needs to have a job,no laying around
    angelairelan

    Answer by angelairelan at 9:15 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I have taken in my kids friends and it turned out to be a blessing in disguise. There were extra hands for help with everything. I have even had my car break down and the friend came and picked me up. They dog sat for me so we could visit sick family. I was scared at first but I am glad we sacrificed a bit and helped out a friend in need.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 11:03 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • wow, you guys, thanks. I will think it over. I don't know what happened last night, but my son kind of "dropped it"....I think there is more to this story than I know.
    I really do want to help him, but this home is so chaotic with my parents and their problems, I don't feel like it's wise to throw in another person....I don't know...but you sure gave me stuff to think about and I thank you.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 8:04 AM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • If he stays in the son's room I'd let him do it until he could get on his feet. I'd tell him that he has to make an attempt to get a job or go to school not just hang out watching tv or playing games. I'd tell him to sign up for food stamps so he could buy his own food. I'd tell him he'd be expected to clean up after himself (wash the tub and wash his own clothes). He would be expected to contribute as best he could or provide his own soap, shampoo, detergent, etc. As long as he proves to not be a burden on my family or finances he could stay but limit the time he can stay (month, 3 months, etc)
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:57 AM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • p.s. I'd also tell him no drinking, smoking, or drugs. you have to be specific with rules like that.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:58 AM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • Take a chance and do something this boy will forever remember and need, use your instincts and just lay out rules from day one.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:04 PM on Mar. 7, 2010