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How can I get my teenage boys to want to visit me?

I have been divorced for 3 yrs. My ex left me for a co-worker, (after 18 yrs of marriage. She left her husband too. They are now married. We have joint custody & joint visitation. But, my oldest just turned 18 and has only spent the night w/me 4 times in 2 years. He left my house after he failed a class and I asked for the keys to his car. My youngest, now 16, left a year ago, for the exact same reason. He had failed a class and I tried to take his Xbox. He grabbed it, kicked a hole in the wall and went to his dad's (only 3 miles from me) My boys will go to dinner with me or come over for Xmas & b-day gifts!! All this time my ex has continued to pay child support. Last week we had a hearing and the judge ordered that my 16 yr old start visiting me again. I'm still getting child support. But, both boys have been so spoiled, no boundaries, no job, no college plans, cash handed to them everyday. And brainwashed.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:06 PM on Mar. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (3)
  • I think your boys are old enough to visit for you if they want. Does your ex object to them visiting? Because if not they are not visiting because they don't want too. As well I think it is very admiral that your ex still pays child support when they do not even live with you....So many of us get nothing and take care of the child with nothing. I think you got a great ex.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:14 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I'm sorry, amybe sit down and talk to your ex about creating ground rules that apply at both houses, the 16 year old can't be grounded at one and not the other. That being said, they are getting older, and honestly at about 16 is when i started making my own visitation schedual, I would not see my mother for months, same with my step sister. Maybe don't try and force them to visit you, but find things that the two or three of you could enjoy doing together and invite them to go with you, GL
    gypsymama532

    Answer by gypsymama532 at 10:28 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Don't push it act like it doesn't bother you , they will come around. if not then just be busy when they do come with out calling you first don't let them get the upper hand on you whaen they know that you are not bothered by them not coming over then they will start to. Wait and see if I am right.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Mar. 6, 2010

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