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Divorce

We're separated, I haven't filed for divorce yet, but am going to talk to a lawyer on monday. Anyways, I wanted to try and keep this out of court and was looking at mediation, but does anyone have any tips or things that i should do while going through this process. Basically if he plays nice, I will, but if he wants to butt heads with me and take it to court, I'm going for his balls; spousal support (for two years) in addition to child support, and limited supervised visitation with our son until he can pass a drug test (which will probably never happen).

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:42 PM on Mar. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • I went through mediation about 7 years ago with my ex husband. We have 2 daughters together. I wanted to keep it out of court and play nice. He played nice, "until" I remarried 3 years later. Then, he became an ass and tried to make my life hell. He pushed me to my breaking point about 2 years into my second marriage, leaving me no choice but to take him to court. I hired a lawyer which was very smart to do, regardless if you think you can't afford it, you have to if you ever want your case to actually be "heard" by a judge, otherwise judges won't let you get a word in- your lawyer represents you and most judges already know the lawyers who have been around a while in family court. Needless to say, I scared the sh** out of my ex by not taking any more of his Bsh** toward me, won my case, and the law is now officially on my side giving me more rights toward our children and child support than I ever imagined.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • i say go for the balls from the get-go or he may take advantage. think of this, he's on drugs and if you play nice during the process he may try something dumb and waste more of your time. then you have to be the a-hole and show him yours is bigger than his. save time, headaches, and patience by hiring a lawyer. research and i am sure that you will find someone to take your case for a decent fee.

    good luck and wish you the best. stay safe! =)
    Bambi12

    Answer by Bambi12 at 11:02 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • go ahead and get a lawyer. i am sorry, but it almost never works out all sweet and nice. my ex and i talked about how smooth we wanted it to go but by the end, he had ruined my credit, stiffed me on child support, and had an OOP against him (yes, it was needed) divorce does crazy things to otherwise sane people.
    mrsmostafa

    Answer by mrsmostafa at 11:02 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Some states require mediation before yo see a judge. PA you have to 3 times before going before a judge unless the mediator kicks it to the judge themselves.
    That said, ask for exactly what you want, see if he'll sign it. If not, go to court. Save yourself as much time and money as you can. And there will be no playing nice. Your already worried about, which means its a huge possility. Dont; risk it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:03 AM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • HE IS ON DRUGS AND U WANT TO PLAY NICE. U WANT SUPERVISED VISITATION AND U WANT TO PLAY NICE. GET A LAWYYER AND GET WHAT YOUR SON DEAERVES WHICH IS 2 PARENTS SUPPORTING HIM AT THE VERY LEAST WITH THE APPROPRIATE CHILD SUPPORT AGREEMENT THAT THE COURT WILL SET. HE SHOULDNT B SEEING YOUR CHILD UNTIL HE IS DRUG FREE AND U NEED THAT IN THE DIVORCE DECREE. U DESERVE SPOUSAL SUPPORT UNTIL U CAN GET YOURSELF TOGETHER. ITS TOUGH OUT THERE IF U HAVE NOT ALREADY GOT A JOB. GO TO SCHOOL ND THEN U CAN GET A BETTER JOB. U MIGHT AS WELL DO WHAT U NEED TO DO FROM THE START. IF U COULD PLAY NICE U WOULDNT B IN NEED OF AN ATTY OR A DIVORCE. GET IT IN A COURT ORDER AND YOUR DIVORCE DECREE AND U WILL NEVER B SORRY U DID.GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 AM on Mar. 6, 2010

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