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HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? AM I IN THE WRONG?

ON FEB 4, 2010 I WAS VISITING MY MOM, MY HUSBAND ACTED LIKE EVERYTHING WAS OK. WHEN I RETURNED HOME ON FRIDAY HE GOT UP LIKE HE WAS GOING TO WORK AND LEFT FOR THE DAY. WHEN HE GOT HOME WE GOT INTO AN ARGUEMENT AND HE TOLD ME HE WAS LAID OFF AND ACTED LIKE HE WAS GOING TO WORK SO HE WOULDN'T UPSET ME. NEEDLESS TO SAY I WAS UPSET ANYWAY BECAUSE HE LIED. WELL I FILED UNEMPLOYMENT PAPERWORK FOR HIM AND DID EVERYTHING I NEEDED TO DO. ON TUESDAY MARCH 2, 2010 I FOUND OUT HE WAS DENIED UNEMPLOYMENT BECUASE HIS EMPLOYER FIRED HIM. WHEN I ASKED HIM ABOUT IT HE SAID HIS EMPLOYER LIED. WELL ABOUT 3 HOURS LATER I ASKED AGAIN AND TOLD HIM NOT TO LIE, WELL AT THIS TIME HE TOLD ME HE WAS FIRED. I AM VERY ANGRY AND BELIEVE I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE. NOW THE QUESTION OF WETHER I SHOULD LEAVE OR NOT IS HANGING OVER MY HEAD. WE HAVE A 7 MONTH OLD DD AND HE HAS A 9 YO DD BY THE WAY, I AM PLAYING HIS CHILD SUPPORT OUT OF MY POCKET NOW.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Mar. 5, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • AM I GOING OVERBOARD ON BEING MAD?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I do not think your husband getting fired is a reason for divorce! Unless you are only in it for the money. Yes you have every reason to be mad at him for lying to you about what happened but its not a reason to leave him over it! Marriage is about working through problems...especially if you have children. The reason divorce rates are so high in the US is because people would rather leave then spend the time working through the problem.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I would be upset about him lying but I would not leave him over it.
    If it were me I would let him know how upset I am with him for lying and ask him to always be honest with me no matter what.
    I would stand by my man and have faith in him to get another job asap but no I would not leave him over it.
    rochellecole

    Answer by rochellecole at 11:33 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I think you are just a little. You do have a right to be mad about him not telling you the truth. You also have to try and support him and incourage him to find a better job. He is a man and he feels that he can't take care of his family. If you leave him just because he lost his job then you don't love him and you should let him know that. If you want to leave him because you are scared then you should just pray for your family and know that you can make it through this together.
    baby-cakes

    Answer by baby-cakes at 11:40 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Hmm. Well, if you were him what would you have done? He probably was really ashamed about being fired (even if he doesn't show it) and probably knew that you would be upset (and understandably so, losing an income is never easy).... He may have panicked and been trying to figure out what his next steps would be. I'm sure he loves you and hated the idea of bringing this badness into the household. Everybody makes mistakes. If he doesn't try very hard to look for a new job on top of everything else, then I think you really need to talk to him (in a loving way if you can muster it). Men desire respect out of love almost to the same degree that women just desire to be loved. Help him to understand that you love him even though you're upset with what's happened and convey to him how important it is that he move on from this 'firing' and get back out there. You guys are partners in this life - I know you can make it through!
    katinthehat8914

    Answer by katinthehat8914 at 11:42 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I AM NOT THINKING ABOUT LEAVING BECAUSE HE LOST HIS JOB, IT IS MORE TO THE FACT THAT I AM WONDERING IF I CAN EVER TRUST HIM AGAIN
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:42 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Sounds like he was trying to spare you of feelings. Yes your mad, and you have a right. But just because he lies about being fired from a job because of shame, pride, whatever, i dont think is a reason to leave because you cant trust him. Have yo asked why he lied? Where was he when he said he was going to work and didnt? If it wasnt another womans house or a strip club or something than im sure the 2 of you can work it out. Sounds like you may need a few more days to cool off too. And start circling classified ads!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • Have you ever lied? Can you say you can be trusted? What ever your answers is, it should be the answer for you to trust him. But it seems like you want a reason to leave. If you need a reason it should be you just don't plain love him. And if you need a reason to stay look at your baby and there is your reason.
    baby-cakes

    Answer by baby-cakes at 11:54 PM on Mar. 5, 2010

  • I'm sorry to say this but liars don't change. Regardless of what the others are saying, there is no excuse for lying, especially from a supposed adult. Ever. He should have been an adult and told you what was going on so you two could have made a plan. Instead he lied and you filed his paperwork for him. He knew it would be a waste of time. At this point I'd have to wonder what else he was lying about. And you're paying his child support for him. Don't stay with him because you have a child with him. Children do not benefit from staying in an unhealthy environment. Take a few days and figure out if you can live with someone who can't get his act together and lies.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:09 AM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • maybe he lied because he knew you would freak the hell out like you are now
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 AM on Mar. 6, 2010

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