Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I want to ask, but I don't know if I have the "right to know"...

Ok, so my dd is in 10th grade and she plays clarinet. Well, we moved over the summer and she's in a new school and they don't have lockers just for their instruments, and their band teacher has always said how their instruments are safe in his room, how he locks the door, etc. Lots of kids leave theirs with no problem.

Well, here's the thing - ONE time, she leaves hers overnight and her instrument gets broken into. It gets dumped, the parts scattered, and her reeds and the reed case gets stolen (why would you want used reeds??) The band teacher says they caught the 2 kids that did it, and they have met with the parents and the Vice Principal of the school. They couldn't give a reason for why they did it.

Do you think I have the right to ask who it was? I should add, last month, she got this really borderline stalker letter from this boy -



Asked by sailorwifenmom at 6:25 AM on Mar. 6, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Level 24 (18,487 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Well, you can ask but they may not tell you. Of course, you can tell the principal about the stalker boy so he will have that information to consider...If it is the same boy, it may change how they handle the situation.

    Answer by BJoan at 9:13 AM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • cont -

    He had asked her out a few times and she's told him no - she doesn't like him like that, she only likes him as a friend. Well, she started dating this other boy, and she got this really over the top letter from this boy, all about how he loves her, he dreams about her every day, thinks about her every day, his heart is deeper than the Marianas Trench because a new man has captured her heart - etc. He's in her band class, and he has ALSO said in the letter how he loves her passion for music, etc. (He also sent a pic. of her friends house from google earth to her friend when he had a thing for her friend.)

    I talked to the guidance counselor about it. The counselor said he would keep an eye on it, but that he didn't think the boy was a threat just yet. Less than a month later - her instrument gets vandalized.

    I don't know if the counselor knows about the break in or the VP knows about the letter...

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 6:31 AM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • I don't if they will tell you, but you can ask.  You certainly have the right to know what disciplinary action the school  is taking against these kids.


    Answer by beeky at 6:33 AM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • Thank you - that's what I was thinking. I don't know if it was the same boy, and I do want to know what happens to the 2 boys that they caught as far as the case goes. I don't want to escalate the whole situation with the letter if it's not the same kid, but IF it IS, then I want to know, because then I think it's a bigger thing than even the vandalism, kwim?


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 6:39 AM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • You can always ask. That does not mean they will tell you. If that boy keeps acting like this, you might want to go talk to his parents. Then the police if his parents will not stop him from stalking her.

    Answer by louise2 at 6:56 AM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • Thank you all - that's what I was thinking, too. It's good to know that I'm not the only one who thinks that these things MAY be related, and that IF they are, then that needs to be addressed differently than if it's not the same boy. Also, it's good to know that I'm not over the line in wondering who it was who did this.

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:17 AM on Mar. 6, 2010