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My heart is screaming....................................

for me to tell my cousin about herself,I just cant go it! I am such a nice person and I hate confrontation. But she always told me to let her know if she ever was turning into her mother and SHE IS! Her little perfect facebook status's anout her "princess"(they are going to run into some MAJOR problems with that girl if they keep spoiling her the way they do). Anyways I always went out of my to go see her 30 mins from my house, and now that she has a car and has some income do you think she would ever consider coming to see me? Or even picking up the damn phone. Shes turned into her mother and thinks the world revolves around her. Would I be wrong to stop accepting her calls or going up there for family get togethers. I seriously dont like any of that family


Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Mar. 6, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • You can and possibly should call her out on her bs...but just because you tell her she is turning into her Mother doesn't mean she will be able to stop it from happening! Honestly...if you can find a way to do it in a loving manner..possibly through lighthearted teasing...make it seem funny to her, and like you love her no matter what kind of a brat she may be turning into...that's how my friends call me out on my bs when I'm out of hand, and honestly...I APPRECIATE IT! They make me laugh at my flaws and feel loved in spite of them.. I want to be a better person! If she has expressed her concerns about becoming someone she hates, then it sounds like she wants to be a good person too, and you may be able to help her if you go about it in the right way, we all have faults, you do, I do, she does...don't come off as self righteous or without flaws yourself and don't be overtly critical about her...? Good Luck!

    Answer by chocolatluver at 10:31 PM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • I mean no offense but it sounds like you have jealousy issues and really do not like her anyway so yea stay away from them until you deal with yourself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 PM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • honey, be a friend and a family member and let her know how she is hurting your relationship with her. I would caution about saying anytithing at the same time about how you feel about how they are raising thier child. fo rnow i would just hit on your relationship with her.
    if she is doing things you dont care for, that are hurting you.
    i would say can i talk to you about a few things that are concerning me. when you do .................. i feel like ........................ because............
    lay it out for her as best you can without attacking or being angry. yet let her know your feelings.

    Answer by sati769leigh at 10:27 PM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • So I have problems because Im angry with her that she just used me? What am I jealous of? She has a car and an income? Ive had that for years before her, so please tell me

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 PM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • i don't think it's jealousy issues at all, i try to stay away from lots of my family for similar reasons, my cousin is a bitch and has two kids that are satan spawns and she does nothing about it. only thing is i have told her and now she has family get togethers that EVERYONE goes to and my son, SO and I are excluded from them. I hate her. So maybe not tell her.

    Answer by LogansMama09 at 10:29 PM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • I would talk to her first. Otherwise it might blow up into something even worse. At least this way you tried, and if she doesn't want to hear it, than you can decide to not accept calls or see her. But give it a try first talking to her, she may have an epiphany and realize you're right. Otherwise she won't know why you're suddenly ignoring her.

    Answer by jmpeskie at 10:30 PM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • sai, I would love to have a sit down discussion with her, but she is the type that is quick to attack. She'd probably be throwing me out of the house before I even got the part about her hurting my feelings out.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Mar. 6, 2010

  • It sounds like this relationship is causing you a lot of undo stress. I think that you could probably take a temporary leave of absence from the family. You only get one family, so I'd advise against making this a permanent split. Take some time to cool off and keep your distance for a while. If you really feel like you have to talk to her about how you feel I'd make sure that your thoughts are organized and focus on something specific. It's generally a bad practice to tell another mother how to raise her child or to inform her that you think she is making a mistake - even if you have her best interests at heart. It is just never received well. I'd focus on the fact that you wish she'd come to you some of the time now that she has the means. Keep in mind that she may be having trouble finding balance between having a job finally and being with her family. That can be a hard adjustment for anyone.

    Answer by beckcorc at 10:43 PM on Mar. 6, 2010

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