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He is a MARRIED man...

I have always trusted my husband and maybe sometimes "bragged" about the fact that i knew he would never cheat ..which i know he hasnt ( slept with anyone)...Anyways, he recently got a new job, before that he worked in an office with all women ( which I was fine with ) He would always "complain" about this one, who always bug him and was just weird. It was obvious she was flirting, because she would always compliment him and buy him things ( lunch/snack wise) and ask him to lunch ( which also didnt didnt make me think anything, although it was annoying). Well he was telling me about his last day (last week) and said that she gave him her email addy to keep in contact ( which was ok) but then he asked her ( he is telling me their convo.) if her husband would get mad ( which sounds kind of shady of him) ..and she said no, she talks about him all the time, except about my hubbys feet ( he has huge feet -- size 17 ! ) * continued

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 AM on Mar. 7, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (12)
  • which when talking about how big a guys feet are, is actually saying something else is big ( which he told me before she always talks about his feet and his other friend at work said she said she wanted to see if it was true !) ...which at that point made me mad. So at this point i was really just ticked off at both of them, I mean it doesnt bother me if they innocently flirted, but they are doing it in a sexual way..he would be ticked if some guy talked about my boobs let alone his d***.

    So the other night in bed, he asked me if he can email her -- and THAT made me upset... He has other "work" friends, and hasnt bothered to try and get back in touch with them... Not to mention that, since he stopped working there, he has been in usch a bad mood and we havent even had sex in a week !

    In 5 years I didnt have to deal with anything like this. I am just upset, and was wondering if anyone thinks i have a valid reason ...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • I definitely see where you are coming from. Maybe you should tell him that you're concerned..

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • I did, and he like blew it off ( laughed) ... which on one hand makes me think -- if he was "cheating" he would try to deny it, and he wouldnt even have told me about their convo in the first place....

    or maybe he just isnt bright enough in that area to think of that, or feels guilty...

    I dont know...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:09 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • In my experience, he feels guilty and is trying to alleviate the guilt by being open with you about the communication between them. I'm not saying anything is going on, but there may be deeper feelings than what he is admitting.
    If it were me, I would just sincerely express my concerns, and then see how it goes...
    Only you know the intricacies of your relationship and the whole situation, so do what feels right to you.
    The answer to your question is, yes, you have a valid reason to be upset.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • Oooh... yeah, I don't like this at all! I would feel weird that he even wanted to write her. If he thought she was annoying, why isn't he glad to be away from her? She sounds nasty! What business does she have talking about his parts???

    I think it's time for you to show your man that he's got the best woman ever. Show him some lovin' girl!

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:10 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • Thanks 2:10 lol ---- but sadly its on his part -- I was the one trying to get some this week !!! ( which adds to it !)

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:25 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • It sounds to me like he's enjoying your feelings about him contacting her a little too much....

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:06 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • While I don't think he is "doing" anything, I think you should do your best to keep him from contacting her. It sounds like there is something more than platonics there and though an email is generally harmless, it could be stepping stone to something more. Your radar is picking something up. I had a situation like that once and I wish I had done more to stop it. I read the book "Committed" recenlty and there is a page where she describes how these situations really do start out innocent, but then seem to escalate out of control.
    In my situation (and in a situation of a friend), the wives were supportive of the relationship at first, especially since the husband was honest about it (if he was having an affair he would be hiding it). But these little things (him suggesting that her husband might mind...his lack of interest in sex..him wanting to keep in touch with her, but not anyone else) are signs. Be careful.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • From someone who's hubby DID get involved with a co worker (found out before it went between the sheets,but lots of email,text mess,lunch breaks,smoke breaks etc Some of which I did end up seeing and were sexually and emotionally in content) and from someone who long time back was herself involved with an engaged man-To talk about the person-be open and not to be hiding anything is actually hiding alot more-It's alot easier to cheat if you act aloof and do it right under someones nose.
    Start snooping-stop thinking giving him ALL your trust is the best thing-In our case shit hit the fan (and I'm married twice as long as you) and it came out to an all out pick a side-Now we've been trying to rebuild things-but he knows I don't give him the amount of trust I used to. He lost alot of trust in the process.
    You need to keep your guard up.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:43 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I had responded 2 posts up. My husband had a female friend at work who left his company (to move far away). After she moved is when he started acting odd, grumpy, less interested in sex, would get annoyed if I fell asleep on the couch (our computer is in the same room). Turns out, at her "goodbye party" she revealed that she had feelings for him (emotional and physical) and they ended up making out (supposedly that's all). Then she moved and they started an intense emotional relationship. From all the evidence I tried to compile (searching phone records, breaking into email etc) - it really does seem like nothing was crossing a line while they worked together. I accidentally found text exchanges between them only 3 weeks later and my how things had escalated in a short time! I left him but eventually we got back together. It's possible that she said something more to him, fueled by knowing she'd never see him again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:33 AM on Mar. 13, 2010

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