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i met some of my old college friends yesterday and boy did that make me blue, they've successfull careers as doctors and i stopped at graduation it feels like i've dropped out of school.

i had low self esteem when i saw then talking about work,, wich is something i would have liked to do, don't get me wrong... i love my 2 year old .. i wouldn't trade those passed 2 years with anything in the whole world.. it just feels u know as something is missing.. and i felt that my career as adoctor would never begin...


Asked by docmamy at 3:21 AM on Mar. 7, 2010 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (4)
  • I understand what you're saying, and again, please don't think that I'm trying to say that you should never work, or even that you shouldn't go back now if that's what your heart is saying to you. Just keep in mind though, for all you know, right now, they're sitting there with their spouses, or even just in their own minds, thinking "wow, she gets to spend all this time with her son. I bet she didn't miss his first steps... Or, I wish I could stay home with my baby, instead of having to drop them off at daycare all the time..." Even if they were all "my life is so great, I've accomplished so much, what have YOU done lately....??" in their attitudes and words, that could be a case of overcompensating - that whole protesting too much sort of thing.

    Because the grass isn't always greener, it's just a different yard with it's own set of problems, kwim?

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 8:55 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • I used to work in military intelligence, but I stopped and became a Stay at Home Mom. I can sort of understand what you're going though, though for me, it was outside pressure from friends who were in the same line of work who couldn't believe that I was willing to give it up like I did. (I'm NOT saying that you have to give up being a Dr, or anything like that, btw!) I also had some medical stuff yrs ago that gives me a different outlook on things.

    Maybe this outlook can help you, too. There are a lot of Drs in the world, and they do a lot of good. But, your ds only has 1 mom. Also, there will be time, AFTER this time with your son, to pursue medicine. OR, there won't be. If your time is that limited, how would you rather spend it? Do you need to work, for mental health or to support your family?

    Whatever your answers to those questions are, will tell you what you should be doing now.


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:49 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • yeh sailor wife i know u r right... i just forgot to mention my friends too have kids the same age as my dear daughter i.e almost 2.. but one has a nany the other's daughter goes to a play school the third leaves her child with her mom, and i couldn't do either i chose to sit with my daughter coz my mom can't take care of her as recently my brother was ill and my mom was taking care of him ( he passes away 2 monthes ago) anyway.. i know mom is the best job ever and no one can make up for any single second lost with children that age.. but u know sometimes.. u wish u had it all...

    Answer by docmamy at 4:32 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • Oh, I should add, I do believe that we can have it all. I just not always all at once. Don't compare yourself to your friends from college - they aren't you, they don't have to live with their choices, and, honestly, you don't have to live with theirs. Only think of yourself and your family right now - NOT in terms of ANYONE else - just you guys.

    Now - are you happy with your choices? Do you feel like you're doing the right thing? If you are, then you've made the right choices for your family, and THAT'S what's going to make you happy in the long run. Not everyone is happy as a SAHM (My sister, for example. She works full time and is a good mom. I stay home and do volunteer work, even with teens, and I'm a good mom, too. We're different people, different personalities, and different families with different needs.)


    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 9:00 AM on Mar. 7, 2010