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Jealous of daddy's time: What do you do when your child gets upset when their daddy's other kids come and visit?

My little boy met some of his other siblings for the first time not long ago. When his brothers were spending time with their daddy, though Daddy kept trying to include our little boy, our little boy was bawling his eyes out. "I want MY daddy! That's MY daddy! You go home, now. I need MY daddy!" I was flabbergasted by his reaction! I kept trying to tell him that daddy loves him just as much as his brothers, but there was just no consoling him! Of course, Daddy picked him up and gave him hugs and kisses, but our little boy was clinging to Daddy's neck for dear life. Up until this point, I didn't know that our son was THAT possessive of his daddy! I mean, he love him, but he is usually really clingy to me-more of a mama's boy. How long will it take for him to get used to his other siblings sharing daddy?


Asked by Anonymous at 10:12 AM on Mar. 7, 2010 in General Parenting

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Answers (11)
  • I imagine it will take a while for your son to get used to sharing Daddy with his brothers. Up until now, the brothers have been an abstract idea- boys he has only seen in pictures and know via the phone. To have there here, in his house with his Daddy, it is new and different and will take some time for him to get used to it. I think daddy should let him know that he loves all the children (boys, girls) and nothing will change that ever. Maybe your husband can plan some family fun activities for when the boys are over - like go to the zoo, go to a park, go to a fun kids plac (like Chuck E Cheese), or maybe do a family fun game day... something that all the kids can look forward to, and have fun doing together. That might help break the ice and get your son feeling a bit better about the boys being around. Good luck!!

    Answer by MizLee at 11:42 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • IMO that would have warranted a time out. It's not fair to the other children for him to get away with throwing a fit. They are all his children equally and he should be made to understand that the time he has with the other 2 is limited and that he needs to learn to share Daddy.. He should also be included in everything they do no matter what. I don't see it as being possessive, I see it as being spoiled rotten.. Sorry JMO.

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 10:18 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • It may not even be about Daddy, it could just be that he wants what the other kids hogging the cool toy to himself. How old is he.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:20 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • No time out NO punishment.

    It will take time, but he will be fine. He is just afraid that they may take his daddy away.

    I think it was very sweet that his dad hug and kiss him. He is a good daddy.

    Patients with lots of love he will learn to love his bothers and see that they are just sharing.

    Answer by gammie at 10:36 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • He JUST turned four, and he is NOT spoiled. He knows that crying and screaming is NOT how we get our way in this house. Like I said, it was his FIRST time meeting them. My stepkids' mom JUST moved back to this state and agreed to set up visitation once a month after meeting me. I'm a school teacher. I know the correct way to deal with children that are not my biological children. So up until 2 days ago, as far as our son knew, he only had his older sister,(mine and my husband's 6 year old). My stepsons are 10 and 12. He doesn't act that way when his older sister and their daddy are playing checkers(so to speak! LOL! She's SIX!) He's perfectly content either watching a movie with me or building with their blocks. I think it's just a matter of getting used to his older brothers.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • OP again...I just realized I spelled "he LOVE him"...that of course is supposed to read "loveS"

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:38 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • It has taken 4 yrs for anyone to say anything about having other siblings to this child. Y'all should of had pictures of them around the house. Seems like you don't want to share your husband either. Good luck

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • BS on the punishment/spoiled thing. Give me a break! He's obviously very young and it was the first time he saw his siblings. He's very confused by the idea that his dad can be a daddy to someone else. The idea of putting him in time-out for that? I think that would be emotional abuse and would only add to the trauma. I'm glad OP is smart enough to know better.

    Honestly, that is such a complicated situation. I imagine it's difficult for everyone. I'm a SM myself, but my son has grown up with his siblings from day 1 so it's a little different. I would consider family counseling. Even if you only go for a few sessions (or just one, even), you may get some professional insight into how to deal with this appropriately.

    Betcha no therapist will advise putting your child in time-out for being upset.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • There is really no telling how long it may take.

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 11:11 AM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • OP again...:10? You are ASSuming too much. I HATE when people do that. Of course we have pictures of his other kids around the house...My stepkids' mom JUST moved back to this state and agreed to set up visitation once a month after meeting me. We showed our kids pictures of the boys and explained who they are. Our daughter understood. But our SON is ONLY FOUR!!! Both the kids even talked to the boys on the phone! But to have them IN the house, just seemed a bit much for our son! Why would I have a problem sharing my husband with HIS OWN KIDS who were in the picture years before he met me!? It doesn't WORK like that! They came first and they deserve to have thier daddy in their life!!!


    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Mar. 7, 2010