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Does anyone have a husband who.....

thinks just because he goes to work all day, that when he is home he can just do nothing. My husband does not help me out at all, and im not asking for him for much. I do all the housewife duties, cook, clean, laundry, take care of our daughter. But when it comes to things like me having to go shower or just run up the street to the store, he wont watch the baby, he complains i take to long and that she will cry the whole time. And in that time, if she poops, he dont change her, if she crys, he lets her cry in her crib. He wont hold her or comfort her. I mean all i wanna do is shower knowing she is not screaming the whole time and he is just sitting there ignoring her. its really pissing me off, im stressed out all the time now, Im so upset over this, he dont understand that being a dad means interacting with ur kids, not just bringing home the paycheck. Just wondered if anyone else had a man like this? i need advice.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:13 PM on Mar. 7, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • YES.....but not anymore.....he thought he went to work so that meant he was doing all the "work"......little did he realize the reality until we just now switched recently and now I work and he's a stay at home dad so that he can finish school....muahahahahah!!!!!
    LynnB1

    Answer by LynnB1 at 6:17 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • Mine isn't like that, he's not perfect, but does spend a lot of time w/ our kids. I'd tell him he better put his shit together or I'd be done w/ him. Sorry that you are going thru that. I really feel for you!
    Tiffany237

    Answer by Tiffany237 at 6:17 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • Yes at the beginning of our marriage after our first dd was born, I felt like this. Your husband needs to be fair with you. He is NOT more deserving of a shower or sleep because he makes money. Its not about the shower, its about mutual respect. Been there!
    3gigglemonsters

    Answer by 3gigglemonsters at 6:23 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • my husband used to be JUST like that...he is now my EXhusband...my SO now is AMAZING with my oldest (not his) and our baby...i think it has less to do with laziness and more to do with his lack of concern for you
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 6:50 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • No way, my DH knows that being a parent means interacting and changing diapers, and feeding, bathing, and even helping with housework. Your husband is being a selfish ass, there is more to being a parent then getting a girl pregnant and making her solely responsible for the kids, she cries when you are gone because he is an ass and won't take care of her and love her. I would get rid of him, that kind of behavior is childish and mean, your poor daughter must think her daddy hates her.
    truealaskanmom

    Answer by truealaskanmom at 6:57 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • I know, he is an ass, It makes me soo sad. I grew up without a dad, and my DD has one sitting right here and he just ignores her. There is no excuse for this, work my ass, if i worked all day i would be spending every mintue i could with her before she went to bed. I have a feeling this will not get any better, and i really hate to even think about divorce, but my DD deserves better then this. Thank you guys for ur answers an advice.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:14 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • My husband and I both work and he does no housework, except taking out the trash on trash nights. He will spend time with our kids though. He didn't do much with any of them when they were little. Our oldest is 5 and I can tell he favors him, I think b/c he can play ball, etc. I personally, don't think this is acceptable and am contemplating divroce. I hate my marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:25 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • I would plan something out of the house. When he comes home say, I am going to x. Leave. Once he is alone with the baby he'll have no chose but to take care of the baby. Maybe after doing this a few times you can talk about it. I am sure he can tell you how hard it is and you can nod your head and say yes I do it all the time!
    bjane01

    Answer by bjane01 at 8:42 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • DON'T and I repeat DON'T just leave him with the baby EVER. I'm married to a man exactly like yours and I can tell you from experience that you WILL come home to a screaming baby, hungry with a diaper rash. Tell him what you need, tell him flat out what you need from him. If he doesn't even bother trying or doesn't care, you need to reevaluate your relationship. My dh changed, I pray yours does too.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:44 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • My ex husband was like that. I had to beg to take showers when I smelled like spoiled milk from being thrown up on all day. Had to ask repeatedly for him to help me with simple things when I was too busy or too overwhelmed with doing everything. If I left for 2 hours he was calling me asking when I was coming home so he could go out all night. He wasn't willing to change, and among other issues, we aren't together anymore. My SO helps me more with my kids than my ex ever has.
    NikLvsNick

    Answer by NikLvsNick at 11:08 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

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