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How do you handle spankings?

For all of you who spank, what are your spanking offenses and how do you handle them with 3-4yos? My twin dss just turned 3. I've just given a pop on the pullup once in a while, but they're getting worse, not better! Please share your thoughts!

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:51 PM on Mar. 7, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (8)
  • well discipline differes from child to child. if spanking actually makes them worse, you should consider a different tactic like time outs in a corner

    Answer by sati769leigh at 8:54 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • I agree with Sati. I always thought I would spank, but once my daughter started getting into stuff I found that I didn't NEED to. She doesn't jsut listen to me, but if I put consequences in place she does. She's almost 2 and she gets time out in her room alone for 2 minutes if she doesn't mind mommy or daddy. Even though I was raised in a spanking home and even though I always thought I would do it, I have found no need for this child, and I have also found that parents who spank excessively (like, all the time for every offense) have kids who hit each other and don't mind. Spanking can be done in a totally responsible way and can be very effective, but if it's not working a different tack is needed. Try time out or removing priviledges. Also, positive reinforcement is MUCH more effective than negative. Praise good behavior EVERY DAY and keep consequences consistant and you'll be sure to raise good kids :)

    Answer by Ati_13 at 9:01 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • I agree with sati. We spank in our household, but with our youngest ds, spanking was not the answer. His thing was attention. The spanking offered attention and he was willing to take attention in any way, shape or form. So we decided to time out. I remember when we used to laugh at time outs... WTH were those parents thinking?... but hey it works, for SOME kiddies.
    My ds HATES time out, because no one is allowed to acknowledge him. Not my dh, this brothers or I. and it drvies him nuts when his brothers are doing something fun because he wants to be a part of it.

    He used to be in time out non stop. He has recently realized what his actions are making him miss, so we've seen a decrease in time outs.


    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 9:02 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • If they are getting worse, then spanking is not working. Find another method of discipline. I recommend the book. "1 2 3 Magic". It is an amazing discipline method that works. It is a common sense method of discipline, it takes the emotions out of discipline and it is all without spanking. Personally, I don't think spanking works. Try this book, read it all the way through and then follow it.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:04 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • OOh! just remembered, I've seen on Nanny 911 a lot where priviledges are EARNED for good behavior, like the kids get an hour of TV time if all their chores are done or something. My daughter is only 2 but she does have chores. She feeds her fish and she has to help pick up her toys. I involve her wherever I can and that has really helped in her behavior as well. When she can help me put the dishes away she feels like I value her help and the praise she gets for doing a good job makes her want to keep helping :)

    Answer by Ati_13 at 9:04 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • So these kids are not your kids? They are you Step kids. I say you should not be spanking them, period. That is something the parent are alowed to do. Unless they live with you full time and the mother and father say it is ok for you to do.

    Answer by louise2 at 9:11 PM on Mar. 7, 2010

  • Sorry for the confusion. I was trying to abbreviated dear sons (plural) as dss LOL. I've just started with the swats,that's why I asked the question how it worked for everybody else who believed in it. The time outs and the 1-2-3 counting aren't working either unfortunately! My husband is deployed and the boys are hitting the terrible threes in full stride. Does spanking work at all for anybody?

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • I also recommend the book 1-2-3 Magic. It's not just about counting, it is an entire technique about discipline that doesn't require spanking. I don't spank unless it is a safety issue, which has turned out to be a very rare occasion, because of using the 1-2-3 technique. Honestly, it has saved me a ton of heartache from spanking my boy. I spanked initially, but it made me feel so awful that I knew I had to find another way. Try it, maybe it will work for you too. You have a double whammy with their Daddy being deployed, so maybe this is just the thing. Good luck!

    Answer by JawgaMom1 at 9:52 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

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