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How old should a child be to teach them good touch, bad touch

My oldest grandchild is 3 years old and I was wondering what is a good age to start teaching about touching. My daughter doesn't know either and it's been years since I raised a child. We have a lot of child molesters in our area and just would like to teach her and how to teach her.

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gemcat2004

Asked by gemcat2004 at 1:53 AM on Mar. 8, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Level 2 (6 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • i would suggest teaching the child the actual anatomical parts. more direct, less game playing. just no one touches your vagina no one touches you you dont want touching you etc
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 1:56 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • I started teaching DS2 that as soon as he was old enough to say a full sentence with about 3 words in it. So around 2 yrs old. And i made sure he knew that NO ONE. not grandma or grandpa or uncle or auntie or anyone was allowed to touch those parts UNLESS he had an owie and mommy took him to the Dr. We've also talked about what he should do and/or say if something should happen.

    DS1 knows these things too but i didn't become his mom until after he turned 4yrs old. I'm not sure how much of this he knew before i started talking to him about it.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:58 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • i say 3 is a good time.i would tell her the exact thing..like the 1st p. said NO games. u know? ill def start @3 with DD
    lhernandez7208

    Answer by lhernandez7208 at 2:07 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • You can start now. There are a LOT of things that you can do to teach this in a way that isn't going to scare or freak your granddaughter out.

    The last place we lived we had 2 level 3 offenders move into our area. Here are some of the things the police and experts that they brought in for a neighborhood awareness meeting suggested:

    Do NOT use "cute" or "pet" names for body parts. When you do, you lay the groundwork for the offender to also make up "cute", "special", "private" names for those parts. (they told us about a case where a little girl kept telling people she played with the kitty with the babysitters boyfriend - it was weeks before anyone thought to ask what kind of kitty it was, and found out he was molesting her...) They said that offenders actually find that children who know the proper terms for body parts, and are able to say them matter of factly

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:32 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • cont

    That the matter of fact approach to it ("my penis hurts", or "my vagina is private", just like if they were to say "my arm hurts") are a much harder target, and are more likely to tell someone if someone tries to mess with them.

    Another thing is that there aren't any "bad" body parts or anything (that could send a message of shame if they are messed with, like they have to hide it). BUT - there ARE private body parts. An easy way to do this to use the bathing suit rule of thumb. Teach them that if it's a part of their body covered by a bathing suit, then people shouldn't be touching them there, and if anyone tries, they need to say "No, that's private", and they need to tell Mommy or Grandma. (You can explain Drs, when Mommy is there, etc, are ok...)

    You can teach and reinforce this in an easy, not scary way, using things like bath time

    cont
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:37 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • cont

    So, like when you're giving a bath, its things like "ok, let's wash your arms. Now, your tummy. Ok, give me your leg. Now the other one. Ok, stand up, we need to wash your bottom. You know, your bottom and your vagina are private parts. If anybody ever wants to touch or look at your private parts or wants you to touch or look at theirs, you need to tell Mommy. Ok - now, lets wash your hair - close your eyes really tight so the soap doesn't get in..."

    Reinforce it a lot, in a very matter of fact way, and be open to whatever they tell you.

    good luck!!
    sailorwifenmom

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 3:39 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Thank you so much SailorWife. I am trying to find the right way to teach my son but i crash and burn. Your advise helped me alot!
    Ihatelaundry

    Answer by Ihatelaundry at 6:17 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

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