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Was I wrong? I think he needed to appologize.

I help out with the kids musical at church. Last night 1 boy had 2 basketballs with him. They hit me in the leg twice. Each time I gave him "the look"...he is 11 he should know what "the look" is. He was also sitting on the platform where the kids are supposed to stay away from, there is a lot of sound and video equiptment there. I didn't say anything about the platform because the lady "in charge" knew he was there and did nothing about it...she isn't very confrotational. Well when more kids started to sit on the platform she finally says to get off of it. He did not. So I go back and make sure he heard to get off of it and remind him about the balls. He did not move. Then he started to bounce the balls on the platform, so I told him to give me the balls. He grabs them, goes fetal, so I had to remove the balls from him and he called me an idiot. (cont)

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 6:36 AM on Mar. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (19)
  • You were right to expect an apology from an 11 year old. I would be mortified if my child behaved like that.
    Children should be told to apologize when they are in the wrong. It teaches them manners. If they are not taught when & how to apologize, how will they ever learn.

    We are not becoming a society of tattle tales. We are becoming a society of "not my child" and "I deserves" and "I don't have to do anything that I don't want to do". This is what hands off parenting has done to our future. Children need & deserve parents who are hands-on. They need to be directed, taught, & disciplined as needed.

    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 8:14 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • I really cant understand the break down in our society. At our church the pastor has even preached about how we are responsible for teaching our kids to respect all adults even the ones who aren't "in charge".He even told us that when our kids are there we should expect another adult to correct our children if we aren't doing our job. When we were all coming up we knew to apologize when we did something wrong and if we didn't we were told to. So what if the kid was embarrassed. Sometimes that is what kids need to learn. No different than if your kid steals from a store and you make them take it back in and apologize to the manager. Yes it might embarrass them but they learn not to do it again.
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 8:20 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • (CONT) So when his parents came to get him I expleined what the issue was and now he needed to apologize before they left. They did speak with him and he finally came over and said sorry and they left.

    Come to find out it seems most of the other parents, including his, think I am some horrible mean person. Really? I don't get it. His parents don't think I should have pulled the balls out of his hands... it was mean and embarrasing for him. Really am I hearing these parents right? They are also wondering "who do I think I am" because I required an apology. Is this not standard operating proceedure when your child talks back to someone? Aren't kids supposed to respect their elders? Isn't saying I am sorry when you have bad behavior a requirement anymore? Was I wrong?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:46 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • i dont think the young man needs to apologise, he already has. but you really should have a chat wiht the parents
    sati769leigh

    Answer by sati769leigh at 6:48 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Not now days. Parents do not require their kids to respect them more or less other adults. Take the hands off approach to childcare. Just make sure the kids are not hurting themselves or others and leave the rest alone. Or stop helping out at Church.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 6:58 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • although i agree that what he did was totally wrong, i don't think you should try to force him to apologize when he really doesn't feel sorry for what he did. a talk with is parents is probably the only thing you can do but seeing as how they thought you were in the wrong fro trying to discipline him, it's probably hopeless.
    RAI2001

    Answer by RAI2001 at 7:11 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • You didn't have to remove the balls. Rather than waiting until the parens came. It might have been wise to call them to come get him early. It is best not to get physical with somebody else's child.
    LoveMyDog

    Answer by LoveMyDog at 8:10 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Exactly motherofhope98!!
    treynlisa

    Answer by treynlisa at 8:21 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • The boys parents need to be SLAPPED. My gosh, their son was acting like a goof ball. I don't know how people can even be teachers or instructors anymore. You guys are forced to deal with brats and bad asses all day long and can do nothing about it, because of idiot parents who think their child is always right and rules the world. But you know what OP, if his parents don't care than why should you? The next time the boy acts up in church just send him home to his parents and let them deal with it.
    2princesnaKing

    Answer by 2princesnaKing at 8:42 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Ps) You were not in the wrong.
    2princesnaKing

    Answer by 2princesnaKing at 8:43 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

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