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What to do?

Me and my hubby have been together for 12 years, we have kept our sex life good till lately, he has been stressed and he is making me stress cause of his stress. Problem is he has been talking about a threesome for a while and i feel like he is pushing me, what should i do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 9:57 AM on Mar. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • skip it,it means trouble

    Answer by TMJ121099 at 10:01 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Never do anything you are even slightly uncomfortable with sexually! Maybe you could suggest counseling for both of you to get to the root of why he is asking you to do this. After 12 years of marriage, he must know that it's not something that you would be very open to. Stand firm and don't cave just to make him happy on this one.


    Answer by huggyface at 10:04 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Don't do it. It sounds like he is getting bored. Spice things up, I dunno, but there's so many other things that you two can do together that doesn't involve a 3rd person. Seriously I think that the chance of that spelling t-r-o-u-b-l-e is a lot greater than the chance that it will strengthen your relationship.

    Answer by threeeunder3 at 10:06 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • If you don't want it, don't do it.
    Come up with suggestions of your own.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • A threesome is a sure fire way to end a marriage. You would hope he would have more respect for your wishes and feelings. Its extremly selfish for a man to encourge you to do anything that your not comfortable with. The old stand by of counseling would be your best bet. And I mean for you not him. When it comes to anything you'll need to start with your self. Stand firm though and do not be bullied into satisfiying a physical urge when the problem is more likely mental. You wouldn't give a child a meal of candy if they were malnourished. Love and encourage him but at the same time remember, your worth more than that.

    Answer by CKasting at 10:09 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • I would not do that. It would likely cause you both problems since you already don't want to. There are other ways of spicing things up. Stand your ground.

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 10:09 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Don't do it. I was in a very similar situation, except we're not married yet. Twelve years this May we would have been together. It was going to be the last thing we did before we got married. We had asked one of our bi friends, and she thought I meant a threesome with her and her girlfriend and me...Uh, no. I meant with my s/o. We(me and him) thought about it, and because we want to do right by God, we didn't feel after some serious thought, that would be a good idea at all. Things got extremely awkward with our former friend, and she I guess was hurt that we didn't do it. She started telling me all kinds of stuff about my kids' father after I told her I really didn't need to know, and she was doing it after we decided against the threesome, which made me believe that since she couldn't have me, she didn't want him to have me either or whatever.
    Long story short, if you have reservations about it, don't do it at all.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:13 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Honey.... you can't "un-ring that bell" once you go there then he will want it again and ask what the big deal is - you did it before.
    Just say no unless you want it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Agree to a foursome. That might shut him up. If not, it would at least be more fair. threesomes are unbalanced and cause problems.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:20 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Honestly, if this is not something you are intrested in then DO NOT DO IT. You 2 will see each other in an entirely different light. There are plenty of other ways to spice things up besides bringing someone else to the bedroom. I cannot say that it is a "sure fire way to end a marraige".... There are many couples out there who do this on a reg. basis and are still very much in love with one another. To each thier own, ya know.

    Do what feels RIGHT to YOU. No matter what we say in here, at the end of the day YOU have to face your SO. YOU have to go through with it, and YOU would have to live with it.

    Good luck sweetie!

    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 10:45 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

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