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My daughter is 4 yrs old, Will be 5 soon. I need help with dicipline!!!!!!

My patience is at end.... My child will not mind me at all. The attitude, smart mouth, slapping at me, you name it she does it. I need some serious advice. How can I teach this child some manners, and respect. I have tried spanking (which dont work), time out, taking away privlages. What do i do????

 
ashbrown0123

Asked by ashbrown0123 at 10:10 AM on Mar. 8, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

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Answers (9)
  • consitancy. you've tried alot, you need to set rules, set consiquences and follow through. We spank and it works, but we also use other forms of discipline as well. Spanking for direct disobediance, disrespect, and dishonesty. We have a list of rules, and the kids know the, so they know what is expected, and they know the consiquences. For example, my two older ones (4and6) know that if they choose not to pay attention and do their schoolwork (homeschooled) they will scrub walls till they choose to do. Or my 3 year old knows that if she coloring on the wall, she will scrub the wall, and will have her art station taken away for a while. I also keep them on a pretty consitant shedual, and I notice that kids can become distructive and rebellous if their time is not managed wisely.
    daughteroftruth

    Answer by daughteroftruth at 2:33 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • I don't believe in spanking, like you said often it doesn't work anyway.

    You've said you've tried everything- have you considered being more consistent with the disciplines that 'don't work?'
    she may just figure that it's no big deal because soon you'll change to something else anyway.

    why is she hitting? is she mad about something in particular? maybe she needs another way to get her anger out.
    do you have a method for it that is considered OK? what we did when ours was 4 and was upset about just about everything, we told her that it was OK to be mad, and feel how you feel. then she'd kick and scream for a while, get it out her system then feel better- or at least worn out.
    then after that we'd ask her if she wanted to talk about it, and she would at least a little bit.

    I know that I can't keep it all in - does bad things!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:17 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • You've taken away privileges, but have you tried taking away toys/possessions? My daughter, who is the same age as yours, HATES that. It definitely gets her attention.
    If that doesn't work, try ignoring her bad behavior. She may be doing some of those things for attention. If you don't give her any attention when she does it, she may stop. That means that you have to give her extra attention and praise when she's being good, though.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • ok, let me see if I have this right. YOU hit her so when SHE hits YOU, you want to punish her? See what's wrong with the hitting/spanking picture. How can you teach her slapping is wrong if you do it? Children learn what they live. She's imitating you. Change your behavior and she'll change.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:29 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • "ok, let me see if I have this right. YOU hit her so when SHE hits YOU, you want to punish her? See what's wrong with the hitting/spanking picture. How can you teach her slapping is wrong if you do it? Children learn what they live. She's imitating you. Change your behavior and she'll change. "

    That is just not accurate. We spank our child and she has NEVER hit us.
    Also, spanking =/= "hitting" A spanking is calculated discipline. Hitting is random, angry violence.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:33 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Most of the time consistent time out works the best. She has to know your serious. If you put a child in time out and let them up to wander they'll know you didn't mean it. You'll have to repeat and repeat with actions not words. At five she should be mature enough to know the behavior is unacceptable. Explain calmly (yes I know its not easy) on her level why shes being put in time out then walk away. If she gets up take her back with out saying a word. After she has stayed for the allotted time, (apx 5 min) Have her tell you she's sorry. Again consistency is the key ingredient. Good Luck. And by the way your a good mom for trying to correct the behavior before it gets to out of hand.good
    CKasting

    Answer by CKasting at 10:38 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • To Admckenzie: Shame on you. This mother asked for advice not to be bashed.
    CKasting

    Answer by CKasting at 10:44 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Thank You for your advice. AdMckenzie- Your answer was disrespectful, I DO NOT hit my child, and the spankings she has had are nothing compared to what i had has a child. My parents spanked me when i done something wrong, and I never slapped back at them EVER, i was a well behaved, mannered, and respectful child. I am thankful for every spanking that I had, bc it made me a better person. But I tried the spanking thinking it would work considering it worked for me and my siblings, but it dont and i was just asking for advice on what some ppl else would do in my situation, Not you telling me that I am hitting my kids, clearly mistaken.
    ashbrown0123

    Answer by ashbrown0123 at 8:42 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is a wonderful parenting book http://www.naomialdort.com/


    You should be able to find it at your local library

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:09 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

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