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i took my son for a free day to try out his new pre-school, it was a DISASTER.

so i took my son to preschool to try it out, and the teacher said it might be harder if i stayed longer. so i tried to leave. my son completely FLIPPED OUT! kicking, screaming at the top of his lungs, hitting, running out of the room, throwing himself on the floor. and of course running after me. so i took him home. i was seriously embarrassed. i don't know how im gonna be able to do this. someone please give me some advice! have you gone through anything like this? what did you do? what should i do??

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:46 AM on Mar. 8, 2010 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (14)
  • well, It does happen and the fact you took him home won't make next time easier.. its SO hard, I do understand since I have a son I have to bring to daycare 4 days a week. But he does have to get used to it and if you trust this preschool, they will know how to react to this and I am sure you aren't the only one this ever happened to... what did the teachers do when he started this? My son's teacher usually comes over and picks up my son or trys to comfort him on Max's harder days...

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 10:54 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Your sons reaction was totally normal this is usually the scenario in many of first days. My advice is that when you are ready to leave him without looking back, he will eventually stop crying and will adapt quickly, once he realizes that you will be back to pick him up. Start with half a day and work your way into full time. It is heart wrenching, it makes you feel like a heel, but in the long run you will be doing what is right for him. The longer you stick around the worst it gets, so be brave and just walk out, or if it will make you feel better stick around without him seeing you and see what happens. He will stop crying!!!!!

    Answer by older at 10:56 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • I agree... his behavior was normal, I wouldn't have taken him home in your place... When it comes time for him to start, there will be some hard days, but his teachers know how to handle it. He will learn to look to them to meet his needs. He will get used to it. The best thing to do is pull off the bandaid quickly -- hug and kiss, say goodbye, and get out of there. Go home and get in the shower and clear your head, and try to remember it won't last forever. He just has to learn to trust that you always come back. And he will. I remember my daughters' second day (their first day it wasn't hard leaving them because they didn't fully understand I was leaving them. The were a bit younger ... for them it was day 2 that the screaming goodbyes began). Good luck.

    Answer by EmilySusan at 10:58 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • It's normal, you just have to know he will throw his fit then he will get over it . It is NOT easy, but it is usually better if you just drop them off say good-bye and leave- not hang around.

    Answer by charlotsomtimes at 11:02 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • yeah i understand that i should have just dropped him off and left. but he ran after me. he was like a magnet glued to my leg. how am i supposed to leave with him running after me? and when the teacher tried calming im down he started hitting. i felt terrible!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:13 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Do you have to put him in preschool? I would ask my self that first

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • i don't necessarily HAVE to. but i do want him getting used to the whole school setting, and me not being around all the time. i never went to pre-school as a child, and i was a pain in the ass every year on the first day of school, i always balled my eyes out.. all the way till middle school. but my brother on the other hand went to pre-school, and he never had a problem with going to school.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • It is very normal and he will calm down once your gone, I know its hard to believe they can go from a kicking screaming ball of fury to a calm collected happy child playing in a 5 minute time span but they do it. I have experienced it with my own kids and come back 10 minutes later without them knowing and they are fine and happy, i have watched kids who would stop crying as soon as the door clicked closed.

    Personally I would have done the trial day differently i would have stayed and played with him and let him get comfortable and a feel for the place and as he wandered off with other kids and became involved then i would have slipped out.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 11:39 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • I don't think this is cause for you to reevaluate whether or not he should be starting preschool! His behavior was 100% on target with most kids on their first day, and your reaction was also fully understandable. Try again. The teacher may have to physically hold him back... my daughter had to be out-maneuvered that way a few times. It's okay, he will be FINE and not scarred or traumatized... he will probably grow to love it.

    See if you can find a copy of a book called "The Kissing Hand" -- it's about starting school. Very cute. A friend of ours gave it to us because it helped her son; by the time she gave it to us our daughter had adjusted already. But I think that could help.

    Answer by EmilySusan at 12:34 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • I volunteer to come in the last hour of the day at my son's preschool, at least once a week, I read stories and help with backpacks.
    It helps him out alot knowing I'm going to show up. My husband saw our son was a bit scared to go so, DH told our son it might help to keep something special in his pocket and he can look at it when he misses being at home. I also put a secret snack in little lunch bags so he could have that little something to look forward to.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

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