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In your opinion?

In your opinion is it considered denying or limiting visits if: 1) there is no court order 2) we were never married 3) I told him he was welcome any time to see our son at my house as long as he gives me a day's notice 4) his family was welcome on sundays for an hour

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Jnc91

Asked by Jnc91 at 10:54 AM on Mar. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Level 8 (211 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • no i dont think it is.... but an hour for his family on a sunday isnt a lot of time at all. i dont him, you, or his family. so i dont know what they are like. but if they love your child and cherish their hour with your son, maybe you should consider letting the family see their grandchild more.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:58 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • You are not denying anything they still get to visit on your terms, which is perfectly ok.
    older

    Answer by older at 10:59 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • op here: they all are saying they wont come if its at my house. its been three weeks since ANY visits from ANYONE in his family including him. ive also emailed him saying how important it is for visits
    Jnc91

    Answer by Jnc91 at 11:02 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • It is limiting visits because they can only occur on your terms, your house only etc. It makes no difference if you were married or not. All he needs to do is petition the court for visitation and then the JUDGE will decide what is fair and equitible vistation for the father, not you and it's likely to be more liberal than what you're currently providing.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • op: we are already in the process of going to court. papers have been filed, i filed first
    Jnc91

    Answer by Jnc91 at 11:09 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • getting a court order will make things easier. that way you and your child's father's rights are both protected and visitations and all of that can be laid out....also, if child support is due, you will be able to get that set up also.

    i dont think you are limiting visitations depending on the age of the child. it sounds like a baby...and from what i know here, most of the time there are never overnights with babies at the non-custodials. i do believe that the visits are able to be at the non-custodials house or however they choose. either way, i cant say they are going to look down on you for wanting to protect your baby....
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 11:46 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • You are controling the situation, BUT you are trying to appear to be fair. You are saying "come see your child, I want you to BUT it has to be on my terms". If there is no reason that prevents him from being a good dad (drugs, alcohol, abuse) then thier is no reason he can't come and get his child. Reality is, if there is no paperwork filed he can walk right over and take his child. Parent and grandparent relationships are so very important, and to many times the parents problems are put on the child and surrounding family, I mean think about it...how would you feel in the reverse? How would you feel if someone said your parents could only see the baby for one hour a week and at thier house?

    Now if there is a serious reason for what you are doing, then by all means stand your ground, but if this is being done out of hurt then it isn't the wisest choice and a judge could hold it against you.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 12:24 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • You're definitely limiting visits by making them happen at your home. How comfortable do you think he or his family is going to feel in your home? I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable going to my ex's home to see my kids, but then I wouldn't really want him in my home either! I think this situation definitely needs to be in court with papers drawn up.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 12:35 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • It is limiting, but still seems pretty available.
    Pnukey

    Answer by Pnukey at 1:21 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

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