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I am at the end of my rope. Please HELP!

My DD is 2yo. I watch 2 other kids, one of whom is a few months younger than my DD. My DD is incredibly aggressive! She bites, hits, and screams MINE! at the top her lungs if he even comes near her and she has a toy. I have tried distracting both of them with separate toys. If he does manage to get a toy she is playing with, she will hit or bit. I have tried talking to her, time outs, spankings, and I have even bit her back. That worked for a couple days but then she was back to the biting! I have explained what sharing is and how to share. I don't know what to do anymore! I can't afford to lose my job but I'm afraid that I will if this continues! I spend as much time with her and cuddling with her as I can during the day when I have the other children, and I certainly make up for any lost hugs and kisses after the other kids are gone. What do I do?!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Mar. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (7)
  • I have a carseat I keep inside. It is my almost 2 year olds time out chair. When he bites, he gets hooked into his seat for 2 minutes. Same as if he hits or pinches or takes away other kids' toys. I can warn him by saying do you want in your carseat? And normally he'll say no and behave.
    Just for record, he knows time out is different from bye bye and it doesn't effect his view of the carseat when we leave. He enjoys going out with mommy and daddy and his bubbies. He DOESN'T like sitting back and watching the other kids play and knowing he's in trouble and can't play.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Keep up with what your doing. My daughter and son will say mine also. But I correct them quickly with "ours." I let both know that we have to share the toys. If my daughter has a toy that her brother wants I'll distract him with other toys until it's "his turn" to play with a particular toy. I'm constantly congratulating them for sharing and waiting for their turn. Good Luck.

    Danni143

    Answer by Danni143 at 11:32 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • You could also try a timer for taking turns. My oldest went through this phase and along with timeouts we also did an extensive sharing lesson at home :) For like 10 minutes we would make him practice sharing and taking turns, we saw improvement immediately. Good Luck!
    lil_angel00

    Answer by lil_angel00 at 11:35 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • It sounds to me like you have tried almost everything you can. I would seperate her completely from the other child when she starts her behavior and not let her play with anything, etc. Like put her in her bedroom and tell her she is in time out and that she does not have permission to play with ANY toys. Maybe separating her completely and letting her see that her actions will not be tolerated she will calm down a bit. You could also try to make a chart of behavior and have smiley faces that are red, yellow and green. Give each child a clothes pin with their name on it and start them on the green face. Explain that the green face is a good day, the yellow face is an okay day and the red face is a bad day. If they have thrww good days per week they can choose from an item in a treasure box (maybe like a McDonald's toy or something). My daycrae tried that for a few of the kids and it worked well.
    Memigen

    Answer by Memigen at 11:45 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • My son was in daycare and he was a biter...but he didn't do it out of anger, he did just because I think he enjoyed biting,lol. I let him have a pacifier until he was 2 1/2...and that actually eased how often he bit..I think he just need to chomp on something. I know, not the BEST solution, I'm sure..but it worked and saved a lot of other kids from boo-boos from my child.
    I think you're really doing all you can do by intervening with time out and everything.Biting is unfortunatley is what some 2 year olds do...its normal...and an undesirable behavior at the same time,lol.
    I wish you luck !:)
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:47 AM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Two year olds just plain don't have the ability to share. The biting is either because she's mad or stil at the stage of putting everythiing in her mouth. Do you have a way to keep kids separate with similar toys?
    Kelly913

    Answer by Kelly913 at 12:39 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Bite her back and hard, that is the only way she is going to understand that that just freakin hurts and she shouldn't do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

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