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What would you do about this uninvited neighbor kid?

We have this neighbor girl. She's 8 and, to be blunt, very obnoxious. She comes over whenever we are outside, takes ds (4) toys out, asks for snacks, invites herself to go places with us (I say no). She found out the other day about ds birthday party & told me ds wants her to go. Ds never said that. So I said he only invited his school & church friends, he didn't even invite his other neighbor friends, not even his 4 year old "girlfriend" . Yesterday this girl told ds she had a present for him & told me she needs directions to the party. Only WE didn't invite her. How do I tell her she can't come? It's at a bounce place & we are allowed 25 kids & have exactly 25 coming. If I was allowed to add more kids, I would have to pay more $ of course. And I couldn't just have her from our development, I'd have to invite a couple others, too. I want to be nice about it, but she doesn't get it.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:37 PM on Mar. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (37)
  • Oh that's a toughie. =[ You don't want to hurt her feelings, I know. I would say the truth; you invited 25 and 25 are coming and they (bounce place) won't let anymore kids come. Talk to her parents. Tell them that she really wants to go, but the quota has already been filled. And she can come on her own accord (like her mom take her and pay for her stuff) sorry =[

    Answer by threeeunder3 at 12:43 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Where are her parents in all this? Why are you letting an 8 year old neighbor kid have this much control over you? Simply tell her that she's not invited and that MAYBE the next time you go as a family you will THINK (note I said think and not promise) about allowing her to come along.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:44 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Talk to the child's mother. Be polite and explain that while you would like to invite the child you do not have the money. Or if you are really brave you can discuss boundaries with the child's parent.

    Answer by FuzNet at 12:44 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • OP again
    I would talk to the mom but she's never around, and is rather clueless anyway. She doesn't discipline the kids, if the kids don't listen to her, she gets the Grandma to take care of it. This girl has worn the same outfit for 3 days in a row before, they don't speak kindly to the kids (grandma is fond of yelling "get your ass in here") . This 8 year old girl can be outside all day and nobody checks on her, nobody calls her in for lunch. She wears glasses but has gone weeks without them, gone weeks without taking her ADD (I think) meds.
    Ds told the older sister (18) and cousin (16) that this girl invited herself and they didn't say anything.
    I really do feel bad, because they never take the kid ANYwhere...she's never been sledding, to a movie, to the zoo, to a museum. So of course she is excited about the chance to go to a party....but we really can't even afford extra kids. *sigh*

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:47 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Why don't you tell her it has been cancelled so there is no more party and the day of the party just have your party and when everything is said and done don't say anything about the party try not to be outside for those days before or after the party that way you can have your time with the family and if she comes over just let her know that that day is not a good day to come out. After the days go by give her a bag of candy I am sure she will be just as happy tell her you bought it for her bc of the party being cancelled....idk GL


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 12:52 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • This girl is seeking attention big time, one she probably doesn't get at home, be nice to her she wants a piece of a normal family like yours. Giving her a bag of candy would be nice, tell her the place you are having the party at only lets 25 kids in and you already have them, but that you will make sure she gets her candy bag anyway.

    Answer by older at 12:58 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • OP again

    Yeah, that's a good idea to give her a goodie bag, and maybe a leftover piece of cake if there is any left.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Tell her it's out of town at a relative's home.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Go to her parent and tell them how she is acting and inform them of the party she is not invited to. Let them deal with her. If the girl still bothers you, just tell her point blank "you are not invited".


    Answer by louise2 at 1:08 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • OK, this just happened at my dd's birthday party. An uninvited guest showed up at the skating rink, with present. The skating rink let her in, not knowing. I suggest you give the jumpy house place a list of who is allowed and not. So this is what I did. I told them, "She is not on our list. She just showed up. I'm not going to pay for her." So, they called her mom (well her friend's mom) and got picked up. Before she left, I told her it was NOT OK to invite yourself to people's parties. She is 9, maybe 10, but even at 8, she would understand. She said, "Fine I want my present back," which I gave her, of course! Just straight up tell her she is not invited and if she tries to come she will be sent back home. Don't let her nose in. How freaking ANNOYING can she be??!! Oh, also, I don't really care about hurting her feelings.

    Answer by Pnukey at 1:16 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

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