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Does your SO work with a bunch of chicks? How do you deal with it?!

My dh is in his 3rd semester of nursing school. He is one of only 3 guys in his group. Some of the girls he goes 2 school w/ are pursuing him aggressively. He has to maintain a relationship w/ them b/c they carpool, do group projects, etc. We've never had a problem w/ cheating or jealousy in our relationship of 10 yrs. I don't know how to handle these young girls calling & texting him all the time. There have been two incidents of two different girls asking him for sex. Now I'm realizing that this is just the beginning. Soon he'll graduate and enter a female-dominated field. He tells me that he let's his classmates know he's happily married, and that he turns them down all the time. Sometimes I think I should contact them myself and tell them (nicely, but firmly) "back off my husband!". But I don't want to make school awkward for him or do anything catty. If you're in a similar situation, do you have any advice?

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Asked by SuZ23 at 9:45 PM on Mar. 8, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (15)
  • The way I see it, he's your spouse. If these little girls aren't listening to him when he tells them that he's happily married, then I think you need to step in and let them know. Sometimes men can be too nice and afraid to hurt someones feelings. I don't know about you, but, if I see a potential threat coming towards my marriage, I'm going to intervene. Maybe if these girls see that he's not hiding anything from you and that their advances aren't welcomed and won't be welcomed, maybe they'll back off and realize that he's married.

    Answer by josie_mommyof2 at 9:56 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • Show up to have lunch with him during classes one day and make it perfectly clear you guys are a happily married couple..And yeah I would set them straight answer his phone if he will let you and give them a piece of your mind that they are being disrespectful!


    Answer by Anonymous at 9:59 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • If you trust him, regardless of past issues, then just let it ride....if you call them acting a fool it will only get worse and cause issues at school.

    Nursing may be a female dominated field but working in hospitals, doctor's offices, etc are not necessarily female dominated. I don't think he's at any greater "risk" of being pursued then he would be at any other job.

    Answer by anetrnlov at 10:01 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • You just have to try your best to let it go. My dh gets hit on CONSTANTLY at his job and these chicks are shameless, they'll hump his leg right in front of me. One lady looked at a pic of our daughter and said, "What a pity, she looks just like Sabrina and I don't like her. You could do so much better." Ugggg...sluuuuts.......Anyways lol, obviously our men can't just flip out and tell these chicks to F off. As long as it's handled in a mature way, you're just going to have to breathe. It sucks, trust me I know, but there's nothing that can be done about it. It's not like our guys can just file sexual harassment on all of their co-workers lol, they have to just turn them down politely and do their jobs.


    Answer by -xoxo- at 10:09 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • My husband works with a lot of women, and he's in a position of power (something most women are attracted to) AND he's damn good looking, sweet, friendly and smart. Women throw themselves at him, but he's totally oblivious and so they give up lol.

    If it woudln't upset your husband I would just start answering his phone when you're together. No need to say anything, just always be the one to answer his phone when you're together. That's subtle enough not to step on anyone's toes or make school or work awkward for your husband, but obvious enough that they should get the message. If they keep persuing him your husband is just going to have to learn to get the message across. Some women like the chase and seducing a married man is, like a goal. So he woudl have to be the one to shut them down.

    Good luck, mamma!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 10:12 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • They would laugh at you and say you cut off his balls if you played Mommy chasing off the bad girls. Let him handle it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:34 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • I think you should just trust your husband. He sounds like he's doing everything right, and you should consider yourself lucky.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:30 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • I agree with both sides, either answering his phone, or just letting him handle it. BUT..... just because he's a man doesn't mean he's not a "victim" of sexual harassment. If these girls are actually asking him for sex, that is NOT right, and if he was bothered enough (which I know men are different in these situations than women) then he needs to seriously tell them to F off. Whether it causes problems at school or not. These girls are stepping a boundary, and being little sluts, they need to be kicked out of class if it doesn't stop, because obviously, this is unprofessional behavior and shouldn't be tolerated. I may be a chick, but if some dude was asking me for sex like that his balls would be in a knot. Those girls shouldn't be ignored and just basically let on to continue just because they are female. That is stupid.

    Answer by workathome01 at 12:07 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • OMG my new bf is in nursing school too...I am just beginning to comprehend what that means...not only is it a predominantly female field but, duhhh.. nurses get to touch boobies and other fun body parts as part of their JOB...he had a job offer from an airline, supervising the maintenance crew, if we stay together I'm crossin my fingers & hoping he takes that job instead!

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • No offense but I looked at your family photos and I don't think you have anything to worry about. He's not really an attractive guy - one that pretty women would chase. But what type of conversations is he having with these "girls" if they are asking for sex.....?? I mean, who does that unless the topic comes up somehow.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:12 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

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