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Not wanting another child

Has anyone decided after having their first child that they didn't want to have another one, even if you had planned on having more before? My husband and I always talked about having at least two kids, if not more, and we do have one beautiful, wonderful 16 month girl who we absolutely love... words cannot express it! She is our joy and so perfect to us. But after having her, we honestly do not feel like we want anymore kids... we don't want to go through it all again. It has been worth it, but really hard! And I know we are wonderful parents, but we feel like she is enough. Just wondering what other parents' feelings are. Most everyone I know has more than one child, and often they are really close together in age, and I wonder why I'm not wanting to join that boat anymore... anyone else ever feel the same?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Mar. 8, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • The benefit of two is they play together, usually. But that isn't a reason to have another. Look, if you only want one, then love her and put your heart and soul into her. Don't worry about it. You do what you can handle.
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 10:13 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • I felt that way for a long time. Now I think I do want more.
    Either way what ever makes you and hubs happy. :)
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 10:13 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • We've always wanted more than 1 and never changed from that. I have to say we do now have 2 and they are best friends.
    txdaniella

    Answer by txdaniella at 10:20 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • I wouldn't mind a second, but my husband is pretty set on one. Since we got a girl the first time around, I will probably not campaign for a second as much as if we had a boy.
    Christina807

    Answer by Christina807 at 11:32 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • if you dont want another one, then you dont want another one. but - i was an only child, and it gets pretty lonley.
    PURPULbutterfly

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 11:58 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • I didn't feel this way after one, but now pregnant with #2...both me and my dh know this is all we want. We had always planned to have 5+ kids, so for us stopping at only 2 is a huge change. Everyone is shocked because we have always talked about wanting a large family.
    Before you have kids, you really can't be sure what you want, so if 1 child feels perfect to you know that you have her, I'd say stop at 1.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:31 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • I think almost every parent gets to a point of not wanting more kids. No matter the reason, it is a mental struggle. I have 4, and am positive I'm done, but sometimes that voice in the back of my head says another would bring more love into an already very loving family.

    Society puts pressure on you, too. No matter how many you have - if you only have one, then its pressure to have another, if you have two, still pressure to have another, if its 3 then its somehow pressure that you had more than 2 and after that society treats you like you are nuts for having more than 3. First there is the pressure to have a boy and a girl, then there is the pressure to have a sister for your daughter or a brother for your son. Always pressure. You can't please society, so you might as well please yourself.
    pennyfred

    Answer by pennyfred at 8:45 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • After I had my son , I decided I never wanted more. It is a decision I have not regretted, he is now eight and I certainly am not going back on that now. It is a decision my hubby shares with me, and as such we can concentrate on my son's future and ours without having to compromise. My son has on occasion asked for a brother , but it has never really become an issue. Each person knows what decision is right for them.
    TakeNoticeNow

    Answer by TakeNoticeNow at 9:23 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • My husband and i always wanted atleast two, but my son is now 14 months and we love him more than anything in this world but the past 14 months have been extremely hard on both of us and our relationship. He was very colicky and he still sleeps terrible. I know i have no more patience for another one. Now that he is older i feel we are enjoying him more. Seriously we love him so much but its been hard and we are happy with one. Everyone has been telling me that we should have another and that its not good to have only one, we feel that we are happy with our one and if they got no sleep for 14 months they might understand lol. Who knows maybe in a few years we will change our minds but for now i think he will be an only child. Good luck and do what makes you happy!!
    kelka24

    Answer by kelka24 at 11:33 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

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