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would i be mean and selfish if i asked my husband to join the army until i finished school and had a good career? we have one son and times are hard. i want to have a stable income. also do they get paid for boot camp?

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:37 PM on Mar. 8, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Yes they do get paid but it si NOT much. YES that is selfish why ask him to do it. He shoudl want to or choice to do it. NOT feel like he has to do it.

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 10:41 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • you can ask.. Im a military spouse and we make around 2500 a month plus get free medical and housing. i think honestly though if you are in shape at all that maybe you should bring up one of you going in not just him. When DH joined up I had no say what so ever and it upset me greatly because this was a big choice for both of us and it was something i wish both of us would have agreed to because it isn't just him that joins the military its the entire family that moves and makes huge changes to our lives. be careful asking him though because if he says yes and agrees to it there is no telling if you will be in one place long enough to get a degree and college credits don't transfer well, online classes only take you so far as well. Ive been trying for 7 years to get my degree and it just hasn't worked. just think it all the way through and talk about it together in detail!

    Answer by zoejains_momma at 10:58 PM on Mar. 8, 2010

  • All you can really do is ask. My husband and I talked military for almost a year before he joined. We went back and forth between him going and me going. He really didn't like the idea of me going. I almost did a few years ago but didn't graduate, and the contract was voided, really regretted it. He kinda wanted to go, then again kinda didn't. Didn't want to leave the family, move all over. So we compromised and after doing some research he went into the Air National Guard.

    Answer by angeleyes0306 at 12:08 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • I'm a Vet, and my dh is Active Duty, and we love it. But, I can tell you that honestly, this is not something that you should ask him to do. If he joins, it should be because he wants to, not because he feels like he HAS to, or else you're going to be disappointed in him, or because otherwise your family won't make it. It's a hard job, and if he does it for those reasons, he's going to start to resent you and your family, and hate it - not a good thing! Also, keep in mind, depending on what your career field is, it's going to be hard for you to get as established in a career as you would like as a military spouse, moving a lot.

    BUT - have you considered that YOU could join :-) There are plenty of opportunities, from Tuition Assistance to the GI Bill to help with college (and the new GI bill helps with living expenses while in college, as well), that you could use to finish school and get established :-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:13 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • Oh, and I should add, they do get paid in boot camp, and while, like I said, I think it's a good life, and we have a good living with a good lifestyle, it's HARD HARD HARD in the beginning, you don't make very much money, there's a lot of adjustments, etc.

    So, again, and I don't mean this in a mean way, but I've been doing this for a long time, and I've worked with a lot of military spouses - in all branches, and I can tell you honestly, that before you do anything, you need to look into it, look into all the branches, look into what jobs are available for your dh or you to do in the military, and look at why you want to do it, and how realistic achieving those things while serving are. Because while there are a LOT of people who love it, there are just as many who HATE it, because they joined with false expectations or the wrong reasons.

    good luck to you guys! :-)

    Answer by sailorwifenmom at 12:18 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

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