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What can you do to help a child learn anger management skills ?

My seven year old son is a wonderful kid . He is like me, we are not afraid to show affection , we feel and we show it. He has recently had problems with anger. He gets so mad so fast and seems to not know how to bring it back or work it out .
Once he is calmed down he says he hates the way he acts when he is mad . A tantrum is the best way to discribe it , He says he cant stop once he gets going .
The pediatritian suggests starting with reward and conseqences and behavior modification fist . I also want to try relaxation and maybe diet changes ,
Any suggestions on tecniques
suggestions on rewards and punisments for this age would be welcomed too
He has been so easy going and happy in the past .
No there has been no major trama or upheaval and I am confident as is the doc that no abuse has occured

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:29 AM on Mar. 9, 2010 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (10)
  • Teach him "tummy breathing" in threw the nose, out the mouth. slow and steady.
    or counting to 5 or 10. or down from 10 or 5.
    also talk to him about how it's okay to say "i'm angry and i need a break" and he can walk away. put himself in a "timeout" of sorts and then return when he feels better.
    do yoga with him! i started doing yoga with my DS1 and noticed such an improvement in his overall behavior.
    omega 6 and 9 are important.

    also, remember sometimes kids need something physical. try teaching him an appropriate physical move. maybe it would be okay if he stamped his feet when he is angry? or punch a pillow? OR even having paper and crayon near by so he can scribble out his frustrations.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:33 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • My son would get so mad he would tremble. We would get him to run flat out to the corner and back, or go out and kick the football as hard as he could, run on the running machine, jump on the tramp, anything that required a big use of energy. We would say it was fine for him to be mad, he just couldn't hurt anyone, including himself. Testosterone is a powerful hormone and boys get massive surges of it, like we do with adrenaline if one of our kids is in crisis. It can be overwhelming. It's great that he feels confidant enough to talk it through with you afterwards. Well done Momma

    Answer by myheartx4 at 2:14 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • Try role playing

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:20 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • my first thought was like the first poster...deep breathing, cleansing breaths. another thing would be to go to his room, or a quiet place until he can get himself under control.
    good luck.
    i love passionate people!

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 7:36 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • I have a child with a temper, and I also have one. What I do for my son, when he is clearly upset and losing his temper, is move him to a place where he is alone. He has a designated seat, and no one is to talk to him or go near him. He sits there until he has his temper under control. I will sometimes ask him "Are you calm now?" and if he cannot answer me calmly and respectfully he needs to sit there longer. This has worked very well for us. In time he has learned to simply go to that seat on his own. He has also learned to recognize when he is calm.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • These are all great Ideas thanks ladies I feel like I will find something that works

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:16 PM on Mar. 9, 2010


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    Answer by Anonymous at 2:35 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • I would suggest someone to talk to we had to provide that for my son and when all was said and done he came out with better skills.

    Answer by pinkdragon36 at 4:25 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • My sister told my niece that she was only allowed to be mad and have a tantrum in her own bedroom. She told her that the living room was the family room and not a place for that behavior. That worked for her. She started this durning the terrible twos and at age 16, my niece would still stomp upstairs and close her door when she got mad. Then a few minutes later she would come out with a good attitude. FYI...she wasn't allowed to slam her door. She had to shut it.

    Answer by redncurle1976 at 2:57 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • As for my step-daughter...we had to take her to therapy and have her put on Ambilify to control her anger. She flipped out when her dad married me. had been 2 1/2 years since the divorce, but she still flipped out. Three years later, she has accepted me now that her dad told her to respect me and my rules or not to come over. Before she allways tried to cause us to fight. She still goes to therapy and is medicated. Now she had turned her anger toward her mom's boyfriend. She is constantly trying to get rid of him. She will come to our house on the weekends and then when her mom calls, she will ask her what she is doing and if her mom says she is going out with her bf, SD will beg her to come get her and will guilt her mom into cancelling the date. She does this all the time, but until her mom puts a stop to it, she will continue.

    Answer by redncurle1976 at 3:07 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

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