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Am I really being selfish

My sister called me the other day and wants me to watch my mother dogs for her while she goes to visit her for a week in another state. Well my mother runs a kennel so she has about 30 dogs to clean up after. The time frame she wants my mother to go visit is at Christmas. I told her that December is not a good time for me as first off my mother will have either 1 or 2 litters of Bulldog puppies and they take alot of care and then I have a 1 and 3 year old so it would be hard for me to go out and clean up after all the dogs with 2 small kids. And then there is the fact that my husband can't come because he has to work so my kids will not be able to spend X-mas with their father as my mother lives in the country over an hour away. I told her I would do it at another time when we don't have puppies and if my other sister comes to help with my kids. Well my sister blew up and cursed me out because I would not do it for her.

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hosein

Asked by hosein at 4:23 AM on Mar. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (216 Credits)
Answers (17)
  • not your responsibility. and you dont have to, what are they going to do? spank u if you dont?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:25 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • Agree not your responsibilty, if your Mom is running a business she needs to train someone and PAY THEM to do this, it is not a labour of love, even just the cost of driving one hour each way is a burden that is unfair on you. Just say no, stand firm and hug your kids and hubby, they are your family now, and take precedent over pups and a selfish sister
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 4:28 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • Also i have had her husband yelling at me as well as his sister plus 2 friends that I don't even know emailing me and putting me down because my sisters husband is in Iraq and I should have done it because he is at war and in the military. I just feel I should put my kids and husband first as this is my life. Her husband keeps putting me down saying I was only an Air Force so I don't understand. Even though I did spend 4 years in the Air Force as well. But this has really stressed me out more than I already am, I have not stopped crying all day. I don't know what to, with the stress I am already under and then this I just can not take it. I have even had thoughts of what is the point of living as I have no one supporting me and my feelings.
    hosein

    Answer by hosein at 4:29 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • Sounds like your sister and her husband are the ones being selfish and immature to boot. Tell them to grow up, get over it and that it's not your responsibility. Kindly remind them that you have your own family to tend to and that if you ask someone for a FAVOR and they say no, drop it. I always thought that was pretty basic logic but apparently not to everyone. And saying you were ONLY in the the Air Force...tell him to get over himself. He's not any better than anyone just because he serves in the military...he's giving people in the military a bad and arrogant look. Don't worry about it hon, ignore them and tell them to get off your case.
    nessani28

    Answer by nessani28 at 4:37 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • Thanks at least I am not the only one feeling like they are being selfish. Yeah I am not even called his sister in law really anymore, he calls me that woman and now he has said he is now making it a point to piss me off. I guess another thing that has really hurt is my mother like always didn't even try and put up for me. She just said it is between you two.
    hosein

    Answer by hosein at 4:45 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • yep and her visiting your sister is between them two ! This isn't your responsibility and they are actually putting dogs in front of family . They are saying the dogs are more important than you being with your DH and the kids being with their Dad at Christmas. If you feel strong enough I would just refuse to discuss it any further. If that causes a feud then so be it.
    myheartx4

    Answer by myheartx4 at 4:59 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • No you are not being selfish, your sister is throwing a tantrum because she didn't get her way.   When was the last time she came up to take care of all the dogs for your mom?  Why is your mom putting you in the middle of it, she should tell your sister no.

    RyansMom001

    Answer by RyansMom001 at 6:16 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • That is an awful lot of responsibility and at Christmas time too?? No, you're not being selfish, I wouldn't do it either.
    momov4kids

    Answer by momov4kids at 6:25 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • The way I see it they are being selfish.
    anetrnlov

    Answer by anetrnlov at 7:26 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • It sounds to me like your sister is the one being selfish.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 7:57 AM on Mar. 9, 2010

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