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Do you think grandparents have the right to do nearly anything with there grandchild?

Give them sugary foods, or soda at a young age. Give them toys and movies that you made clear you don't want them to have.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Mar. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (25)
  • No. DH and I say what goes with our children. The grandparents raised their children and we are raising ours. We do what we feel is best.
    wildflowers25

    Answer by wildflowers25 at 12:12 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • No! I'm sick of these "grandparent's right" ideas...nobody has rights pertaining to the child/ren except the PARENTS.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:13 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • It drives me NUTS!! My mom does it all the time. And we live with her so it's real difficult to keep that stuff away. I wouldn't mind if it was just an every once in a while thing...like if we didn't live there, and she wanted to spoil the kids every time we came for a visit...then yeah, but EVERYDAY its a little excessive. But you have to understand how much a grandparent can love a grandchild....like their own child....and think of it this way. Say you and your child's father were separated, and HE had full custody, and all you got was visitation like once a week....YOU would be spoiling the crap out of your kids. I know I would. If I couldn't see them often, I would want to have as much fun, and make them as happy as I possibly could in the short amount of time I get to see them...you know?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • My DD sees her grandparents once a week from12-8 without me. While they're are very considerate of my wishes I tell them not to worry about food as long as she can't choke and its not a high allergy food. No nuts or honey yet. They would never give her soda and that would piss me off. She eats healthy all the time with me so a day off once a week is no big deal...I want them to have fun together.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:15 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • if the grandparents do not spend a whole lot of time with their grands, then it think it is really cool. if the grandparents are actually caregivers then i don't think it is a good idea. toys and movies and sugary foods come and go, but allowing a child to know they can go to the grandparents is truly priceless...and the grandparents may not be around forever either. in our house we are pretty strict with diet, but at friends and relatives we don't really have limits. i want their lives to be healthy, but not lives of "NO". for us all around health comes with balance...a little give...
    happy2bmom25

    Answer by happy2bmom25 at 12:17 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • No , I don't thats your child they had theirs & they should follow your rules.If they are not I would have a chat with them to let them know how much what they are doing is bothering you.It may be they forgot. Just in case I'd talk to them about it.Respect is a 2 way street.Yup I think letting them know that your rules are made for a reason & need to be seen through by any other adult who may have them in they're care.

    Stefono

    Answer by Stefono at 12:19 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • no they shouldn't do that- I'm not a grand parent, but aunt to two little girls.
    I've never fed them food or toys they weren't supposed to have. If anything, mommy and Daddy get irritated with me when I don't let my niece have sugary cereals for breakfast when she's in my care.
    Think they think it makes them look bad-

    I just tell my niece that this is a 'aunt rule' like how rules are different at the library then they are at home when it comes to talking loud and the like.
    When she has things like cheerios and stuff the 'aunt rule' is that she chooses to have either a piece of cheese or peanut butter first so she has protein with it.

    family stuff is complicated for everybody -

    cont-
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • anon 12:19 cont- for what it's worth, things aren't ever going to be perfect- if they get toys and movies they aren't supposed to have, can you exchange them for something in the rules? maybe you can explain to the kids that these toys are are against the rules and that the grandparents 'misunderstood' -

    as far as the food goes, that may take some work-

    Do the best you all can- But I do think that relationships with relatives that love kids are precious and you can''t turn back the clock later to have that relationship after it's too late.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • No-- grandparents should respect the wishes of the parents. That's not to say that the parents should be rigid, either. One of the joys of having grandparents is having that special relationship. For instance, my grandma and I always made cookies and candies together, and of course we ate them! I wasn't allowed store-bought candy and cookies at home, so it was a nice treat to share with Grandma--something special for the two of us.
    Busimommi

    Answer by Busimommi at 12:26 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • It depends. How's that for an answer. :) My parents know our rules and are respectful of them. We (as in DH and I) have a set of rules and understandings that are non-negotiable. My parents respect these. And then we have things that are more fluid.

    There are certain things that fly at Grandma & Papa's house that don't work at our home and vice versa. My kids, now 7 and 5, are very well aware that there are certain things that are "Grandma" things and not "regular home" things. For example, on their sleepover nights (they each get one night a month of pure spoiling) they know Grandma will happily hang out in the room with them until they fall asleep. They know they can eat desert first and stay up later than they'd ever be up at home. They know they will get to drink soda (we rarely keep it in our house.) But, they do not expect that at home. They know it won't work. It what makes it a treat. ;)

    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 12:29 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

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