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Bikini on a changing body... yes or no?

My 10 yr old dd started getting breasts when she was 7. She now is probably a 34a cup size or bigger. She has a LOT of pubic hair & her hips are becoming very noticeable. Last summer i let her get away w/wearing a 2 piece bathing suite that had shorts as bottoms and a halter top for the top. But now its not even summer yet & shes been asking me if she can wear a bikini this year. Um.. HELL NO is what i told her. Well not in those exact words, but i explained to her that her body is changing and she has to keep certain parts of her body covered. She understood but was still mad that i wont let her wear one. Too bad, I'm the mom & i make the rules.

How do you other moms feel about your preteen or even teen daughters wearing bikins?

No bashing please. Your opinions are all that's needed. Thanks.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Mar. 9, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (26)
  • I am most definitely with you on that!

    My rule will be that my daughter can wear a bikini when she can afford to buy her own bathing suit (assuming that'll be 17 or so). And even then, I will veto her choice if I think it's too skimpy. Mamas are there to make sure their daughters think things through. : )
    mickstinator

    Answer by mickstinator at 2:30 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • I feel you are going to make her be ashamed of her changing body and that is not right! She should be able to wear a two piece if she wants and if it is age appropriate. You can't lock her up in her room because she is becoming a woman. Young girls need self confidence not learning to be ashamed of their growing body!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • Definately not for preteens or young teens, but at like 17 it's up to them. But I wouldn't let a small child wear a 2 piece either, because I don't want that much skin exposed to the sun lol. It's not about covering up, and it's going to be hard for her to understand that you had different expectations only a year ago and now, suddenly, it's changed just because she has a more womanly figure? To her it doesn't matter. She will probalby be mad at you about it until she has a daughter of her own she has to tell to keep covered up lol.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 2:34 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • i was allowed to when i asked --- maybe around age 12. i am so glad my mom did let me. i had a perfect body eating mac anc cheese and pizza everyday. it was power i had over my peers. if i had a dd of any age i would let her wear a bikini but of course i would teach her how to maintain the bikini line hair, etc... how can you go back from letter her wear a halter and short shorts to no bikinis.. maybe you could find one like she had last year that isnt a string bikini but isnt a one piece either... i vote for freedom. if she is a good girl and you dont think she is dumb enough to get knocked up then let her.. her body will never be that good again...
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:37 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • OP
    Are you serious??? Ha! Sorry had to laugh a bit on that one. So you're saying that I should let my daughter flaunt her body in a skimpy bikini while young boys & even older grown men can stare at her body? Yea right, not in this lifetime. Just because I wont allow her to wear a bikini doesnt mean that Im teaching her to be ashamed of her body. You must be a big moron if you think girl should wear bikins so they wont feel ashamed of their changing bodies. Idiot. Im teaching my daughter how to resepect her body. I wonder what you're teaching yours???



    Anon said:
    I feel you are going to make her be ashamed of her changing body and that is not right! She should be able to wear a two piece if she wants and if it is age appropriate. You can't lock her up in her room because she is becoming a woman. Young girls need self confidence not learning to be ashamed of their growing body!

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:39 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • "i am so glad my mom did let me. i had a perfect body eating mac anc cheese and pizza everyday. it was power i had over my peers."

    Part of the reason I wouldn't want my daughter to wear a bathing suit so young is because I don't want my daughter to think that if she is better looking physically, she is better than her peers. I am all about being confident in who you are, but that by no means dictates that one must lack modesty. Covering up does not equal low self esteem.

    (By the way, I don't even have a daughter at this point. This is all theoretical for me!)
    mickstinator

    Answer by mickstinator at 2:41 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • It depends what kind, they have short type with the top being long near the breast area.

    As long as it is not sexy... I don't see the diffrence. If it just covers the breast then no...
    KFree907

    Answer by KFree907 at 2:41 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • I once had a co-worker who showed us all a picture of his 15 yo DD in her skimpy bathing suit as he went on and on about how awful it was she had this skimpy bathing suit and the attention she got in it. "Well," asked another Coworker, "Who bought it for her?" He said his wife had and how could you possibly tell her no when she wanted it so bad and you didn't want to hurt her self-image, etc. . . My other coworker laughed a little and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm the mom. MY DD can want a 2-piece all she wants, but that doesn't mean I have to buy it for her." Teaching a girl to be proud and respectful of her body is one thing. Allowing her to dress in age-inappropriate ways is another. I don't buy two pieces for my DD and she's 5. When she's ready to take responsibility for flaunting whatever is she'll have, she can buy her own. ;) i.e. She can be 18 in her first two-piece other than a tankini.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:45 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • OP
    Well, kjfamily this happens to be a place where parents can come and ask questions. If you couldn't understand from my question I posted, I was pretty clear that I was only looking for opinions of other mothers' choices regarding bikinis & young girls. I also said NO BASHING. You must be having a bad day, sorry. But dont no need to take it out on me and my question. Find another poster to annoy.

    anon said:
    She should be able to wear a two piece if she wants and if it is age appropriate.**** I always wore bikinis and don't bring MY KIDS into your discussion..Why ask a question if your mind is set..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • I wore one until I was 25. I had a great body - why not? Unless she's heavy and it doesn't look good I would let her. Don't make her ashamed of herself!
    mompam

    Answer by mompam at 3:08 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

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