Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How to keep my sons dad from finding us.

I have a amazing son, with a not so amazing dad. I never planned to ever take my son away from his dad if I didn't fear his life was in danger. His dad is a drug dealer. that doesn't even top the things he gets paid to do to other people. He doesn't have a job,lives at home with his mom. Anyway. He's been scaring me, and mentally abuses me. I'm done trying now. And believe me I tried when we were together, consoling, talking, not talking nothing works he's just a dick. Anyway. I fear he's gotten more into drugs, and I just can't have my son around this anymore. I shouldn't have allowed it to begin with ( I didn't want to but like I said I know fathers are important) anyway I moved from az to tx to marry my wonderful man whose in the army. And theirs no court order we weren't married. I just want to know if him or his mom can make me come back if they don't even know where we are..

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:13 PM on Mar. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • If he doesn't have any custody they can't do anything. Just stay unlisted and don't ever give your location online, etc. Unless you were under like federal protection, all you can do is keep your location hush hush.
    missbreezy214

    Answer by missbreezy214 at 5:17 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • If there's no divorce or separation agreement then he has to go through court(s) proving with dna (and he can get a court order to get son's dna to test against his), then he has to be declared bio father and fight in court from there.

    If they 'make me come back' then that means from someone they know where you are. Keep your phone number private and don't talk about bio dad. You don't owe new friends, neighbors your business that your son is not your present husband's son. If that's what they believe then that's what happens. But you are not legally obligated to tell anyone that ds is not bio child of present husband.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • Thank God you got away! My daughters father was the SAME WAY! He used to abuse me in every imaginable way. The day he hit me while I was holding our child was the day I left. I reported him to DFCS as an abuser. But since he didn't sign the birth certificate or the paternity acknowledgment form so he would have to take me to court and he steers clear of law enforcement due to his occupational choice. If you want definate answers the best I can say is find a lawyer out there to get advice from. They can tell you the law.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • I was in a very similar situation and had I not moved, I would not be here now. I spoke w/ my attorney before I left and was advised by her and the State Attorney General's office to NEVER use a physical address. I have a PO Box in a neighboring town which is 20 minutes from where I live. I've had it for 11 yrs now.

    And put everything in your husband's name because your credit report will list your current address and if he gets someone that has access to run credit reports he can get your info.

    Have an unlisted number, and again, not in your name if you can help it. I almost always let my answering machine w/ the generic message pick up my calls and if I do pick up and someone asks for me and I don't recognize the person or the number on caller ID, then I tell them they have a wrong number. Good luck and know that it will get better. I have an awesome husband and my daughter is very happy without him in her life.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:47 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • You have gotten great advice here. I was thinking that you should also talk to a domestic violence counsellor. They will know some more of the law dealing with some of your issues. I didn't want my ex- to find us either....he hasn't. From all I can tell he never even bothered. God Bless you.
    kjrn79

    Answer by kjrn79 at 6:04 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • I would say talk to someone (local shelter maybe, they usually know the laws for abuse victums)and find out if you can file something legally for sole custody so you can stop worrying. They would know what you're options are without actually contacting him which you obviously don't want to do. Good Luck!!
    jillybean703

    Answer by jillybean703 at 4:46 PM on Jul. 28, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN