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If another child told your child to steal something do you think that child should be punished?

A boy my youngest is no longer allowed to have anything to do with told him to steal a book at the school book fair today. The book was returned before I was called and my child was suspended for two day. The boy who told him to steal it was not punished at all. I am not saying that my son should not have been punished but I believe the other boy should have received the same punishment.
As most of us know if some hires another person to kill someone they both receive the same sentence if the crime is carried out so the way I see it that kid should have been suspended also. The other kids mother obviously doesn't care what he does or how he talks to or about people. Yesterday he punched a little girl in the face for no reason and he said that my sons and their deceased father are gay because they have long hair.

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Asked by Joyzap2003 at 10:53 PM on Mar. 9, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

Level 11 (619 Credits)
Answers (20)
  • No bc your son made the choice. He could have said no. Someone told my grandson to write his name on the bathroom wall in pee. He did. He was kicked out of daycare but the child who told him to do it didn't get in trouble bc he didn't do anything. This is a great teaching opportunity for you and your son.

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:01 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • i dont really think the other child should be punished, even though he does deserve it. your boy should know better than to listen to some bully. which im sure he does now and is a good kid. just talk to him about not feeling pressured, making good decisions, and hanging out with the right crowd.

    and if this "other kid" punched a girl yesterday ... then why isnt he already suspended?
    and as far as this other child's rude comments.... even though hurtful. it will make your child a stronger and nicer person. he'll know that words can be hurtful. i would just try to have your child stay away from a kid like this. good luck.

    Answer by DRM0329 at 11:03 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • Your child made the choice to steal. The other boy shouldn't have told him to steal but he still made the choice. Murder for hire is a lot different than stealing a book.

    DRM0329: Most schools don't suspend a kid for hitting another. They get ISS for the rest of that day and maybe the next day too. Unless they keep doing it then they start suspending.


    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 11:46 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • I think the other boy should have gotten a small punishment but not the same. Maybe a detention or something. But I agree with everyone else, your child made the decision.

    Answer by Sophie4910 at 12:06 AM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • My child knows that he made the wrong decision and I'm not saying he shouldn't have been punished but I still think the other child should have been punished also.

    Answer by Joyzap2003 at 12:56 AM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • No. Your son wasn't hired/paid to go steal something, nor did he kill a person. If an adult tells another adult 'Hey go rob that bank' and later that person they told to do it does, the person that told them could be questioned but if he’s smart enough he could get off by just telling the cops 'I didn't think he'd actually rob it, we were just joking'. Even if the person is held for saying to do something they would serve a lesser sentence if any at all, some it’s counseling/community service.

    I teach my kids that no matter what others do or tell say to do, if it's wrong and they do it then they are the one at fault and should be held accountable for their actions. I agree that the other child should at the least be talked to, at most be aware that it was inappropriate, however your son chose to act upon something he 'should' have already known was wrong and he should pay the price for his actions.

    Answer by Knightquester at 1:17 AM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • Your son knows the difference between right and wrong. Not to sound like my parents but honestly, if someone told him to jump off a bridge would he? It's not someones fault if he makes a choice. Hold your son accountable and don't worry about the other kid who told him to do something. Step up your efforts, keep them apart but hold your son accountable. he's responsibile for his own actions.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 AM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • I agree with Sophie. Maybe a small punishment, because pressuring someone is not right and he should learn a lesson. But ultimately, it was your child's decision to go through with it, and he should take the brunt of it, as unfortunate as that is.

    Answer by Shlamoof at 2:32 AM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • no, even though he told your son to steal it your son acted on it. i can understand where your coming from but remember it was up to your son to steal it or not. it's a lesson learned. hopefully your son will realize he shouldn't listen to other people.

    Answer by ilybaby8609 at 3:13 AM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • Well it's kind of like robbing a bank. There is a person robbing the bank and then there is the person in the get-a-way car. The guy in the car didn't literally steal the money, but he was in on it, which makes him an accomplice. And in real life they would both be going to jail.

    So for this case, yes I believe that the other boy should be held accountable also.

    Answer by Cappy1979 at 4:57 AM on Mar. 10, 2010

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