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We haven't even left yet and already the guilt is setting in...

Me, my DH, and our toddler have lived w/ my parents since DS was born - its actually been great, we were able to save for a home and my parents loved having us - but now we've been pre-approved for our mortgage and we are starting to look at homes, out of state. My parents plan on selling their house soon and moving to the town we are moving to (this is what we ALL want), but we will end up moving months before they do. We started the process today of my DH transferring his job, and suddenly my parents are having second thoughts about us leaving. They are saying that they don't want us to go, they'll miss us too much, etc. Even though this has been the plan for nearly a year, I'm starting to feel scared of going, too. I don't really WANT to be so far from my parents, and their guilt trips are making it even harder! We'll hopefully be reunited soon, but the thought of months w/out them hurts. Any advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Mar. 9, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • You have to do what you have to do for your life. I'm sure it's been a great set up, but they need to let go. They'll be following you eventually, so it won't be horrible!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:23 PM on Mar. 9, 2010

  • Live your life as you planned. Mom and dad have to live their's without holding you back. This is your chance at independent life. They can come visit.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:15 AM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • I moved to VA when I was 18 to be with my husband. My parents live in OR. They were upset and didnt want me to go but they got over it. I mean you cant live your life based on what they want. You gotta do what makes you happy.

    Answer by Sophie4910 at 12:50 AM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • How old are you? You have your own child to worry about right now, you should not be worrying too much about your parents. You have priorities, & staying at your parents is not one of them. Make a life for yourselves outside your parents home. Stop being dependent on them (or are your parents emotionally dependent on you guys?)


    Answer by samurai_chica at 10:11 AM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • I agree and disagree... While I do believe that you need to live your life, I also know that not everyone is as close to their family as you are. Personally, if I had family that loved me like that, I'd want to be as close to them as humanly possible...

    Sorry, I wasn't much help...

    Answer by itsjaimiehere at 1:12 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • OP - I'm 25. I lived on my own for years before moving back in with my parents. Its just that, after getting married and having my son, my family became my whole world. I don't have any friends anymore, I talk to my mom more than anyone else. And my son is their only grandchild, and the only one they have any shot at having any time soon (my siblings are all f***ups). My parents have gotten REALLY attached to my son, he's lived there since he was born! It will be like losing a child for them, when we leave. That is actually why they are coming to the town we are moving to - they want to be near my son. Which, of course, I love the idea of, because they are the only people I'd trust babysitting! I am just mostly scared that I'll be terribly homesick until they get to where we are, IF they do, since its unlikely their house will sell very quickly...

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:22 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

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