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Do you think its fair for his dad to make him choose?

My son loves spending time with his father. (we are divorced and live seperatly).He can't wait for weekends to come to be able to see him.It seems as though latley his dad finds excuses for him to pick him up late,drop him off at home early or to not get him at all.
Now, his excuse for this weekend...my son was invited to a birthday party for this Sunday at a laser tag place. I asked his dad if he could drop him off to me early on Sunday so I could take him to the party. So his dad decided that if our son wants to go to the party that he should just stay home this weekend. I told him thats not fair to make a 9 year old decided between spending time with his dad and laser tag, I mean come on.
And its not even till SUNDAY..the last day of the weekend.
GRRRR..that man is the most irritating person on the face of the earth!!!

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:20 PM on Mar. 10, 2010 in Tweens (9-12)

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Do you have a court order? If you do then I would start documenting the weekends he misses. My court order is clearly stated and I cant make plans on my exs weekends. Its your ex ultimately missing out. Your son will still have a relationship with his dad, just sounds like itll be on dads terms or no term at all. Let it go. Tell your ex you and he will make the decisions for your son, and that your son is going to be a 9 yr old kid with 9 yr old kid worries.
    gemgem

    Answer by gemgem at 1:28 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • Does he have a new girlfriend? Unfortunately a lot of men seem to lose interest in their kids when a new girl comes along.
    SleepingBeautee

    Answer by SleepingBeautee at 1:23 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • No, he doesnt have a new girlfriend..they've been together for like 6 years.Unless he has a new girlfriend on the side...who knows. I just know I'm tired of my boy getting stood up by this jerk and theres not a dang thing I can do about it but watch it happen and give my son hugs. :(
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • I am sorry that is happening to your son. I am sure it is hard to put up with. I would tell him he needs to take him for the weekend and make sure he is home on time for the party. I would not let him make excuses and crap. From now on, tell him what needs to be done, don't ask him.
    Good luck and Big Hugs!
    MillyPontipee

    Answer by MillyPontipee at 1:30 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • I'm sorry- some people don't have a sense of what's important do they?

    my husband's dad was like that- when they got older and were busier with other things, his dad stopped paying child support- figuring he didn't have to if he wasn't seeing the boys.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:32 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • Yeah we have a court order but it is based on when he lived in another state..and he recently moved to our state a few months ago (which my son was estatic about)...so technically he is supposed to have him every other holiday and during summer vacation and thats it. Isn't that sad?When he LIVES here and can see him any time he wishes..I don't hold restrictions against him, and I try to work with him whenever possible but I think he thrives on giving me a hard time.
    It is just sad that our son has to go through this.His dad has no idea how much hurt he causes this child..our son does a good job of hiding his hurt,sadness and anger from him but I get to see it all and be the one to wipe his tears and assure him his dad loves him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:34 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • my dad started pulling that on my baby brother- I was legal age, he was still a minor.
    my brother would be all packed for a weekend trip, then hours after he was supposed to be picked up he'd be told that Dad couldn't go.

    So I told my mom and Dad to either figure out a way to straighten out their differences and the whole mess, or I'd move out and take my brother with me.
    Told both of them if they wanted to charge me with anything, then it would all come out in court - all that had gone on in that house over the years. - I've got journals since I was 5- it was documented!
    you'd be surprised how quickly they started working things out!

    My dad came around, hopefully your Ex will too-

    I hope it works out for you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • No it is not fair at all...not at all. Dad could take him to the party, actually. I dont' know why the parent thinks it is "his time" when really it is the child's time with the parent and normal parents do consider their child's needs or desires when they plan the weekend.
    BJoan

    Answer by BJoan at 3:32 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • My ex used to do basically the same thing. When it was going to be "his" weekend I started handing him the bday party invites and letting him handle it. If he rsvp'ed "no" and didn't take the kids, then they knew it was their dad's decision and not mine. It sucks, but as I'm starting to do more things like that, they are seeing their dad for who he really is.
    missanc

    Answer by missanc at 5:43 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

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