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is it selfish?

would you blame someone for leaving your relationship to go be with baby mom and his kids if he felt like being a part time dad every oter weekend wasnt enough?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 PM on Mar. 10, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (10)
  • I'd understand intellectually that his need to be with his children was strong. I'd probably be terribly hurt if he had indicated that we had a permanent relationship and then he changed his mind.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 2:02 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • I don't think so.... I couldn't bear the thought of being away from my son, so I can imagine only seeing your kids every other weekend has got to be hard on somebody. Now, if he doesn't love the mother, and he's JUST doing it for his kids, it won't last. And it's doing his kids a disservice, too. But if he still has feelings for her, then yes, I think wanting to work things out is a very commendable thing to do.
    Anouck

    Answer by Anouck at 2:02 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • I wouldn't like him leaving me- but I think maybe as a outsider I could understand.

    one of these things that just isn't fair I guess.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:02 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • If it were me... it would be hard... but I would let him go back to his ex-wife! Good luck!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:04 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • its hard.. but i know he wants to be with his kids.. hes cried to me about it before.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:07 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • Let it go. Everyone deserves to be in a relationship that is happy and comfortable where they are appreciated 100% and fully committed to. This wasn't the one for you.

    It's easier to accept a break up when the other person is a miserable cheater or a liar or an addict or something terrible. But this man sounds like he has a kind but confused heart.

    You can find someone with a kind and committed heart. It'll happen!
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 2:19 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • I can understand how he would feel, and I can also understand that you would feel hurt by that. Your feelings are justified, as are his. He wants to be a parent to his child, and he feels that that is the best way to go about it. And you are hurt that he is ending your relationship. Neither of you is wrong.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 2:28 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • I couldn't blame him for wanting to try. But like someone else said, if they're only doing it for the children (one or both of them), then it's not going to work unless they have an open relationship because the kids can sense the feelings and it'll cause more problems. Would I stand in his way? no, I wouldn't because it's something he's going to have to learn on his own and who knows, they may learn to love one another again. I know that's not the words you want to hear, but that old saying is true about "if you love something, let it go and if it comes back to you it's yours, if not, it never really was" I didn't word that just right but you see what I'm saying. But I wouldn't be there waiting when he came back because this is likely going to be a repeat thing till both of them are in a serious relationship with someone else and the option to do it isn't there anymore.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 3:15 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • i would cry that i didnt meet him before he had any kids,because he is clearly a good man and he cant be mine ,i would be proud to know him.
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 3:24 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • No, it just wasn't meant to be. He obviously wasn't that into the relationship
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:04 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

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