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How do you deal with other people's kids ... ?

We are trying to teach our son to share. And he does really well with it. But, we'll have other kids over and they take HIS toys and won't let him have them. He doesn't have a problem with it, he just goes and finds something else. But, as a mom, I want to stand up for my son, and not let other kids treat him like that. Not just that, but I don't want him immitating this rude behavior. (one kid -5 year old- actually picked up my son - 1 year old-, took him into another room and shut him in there so she wouldn't have to share toys that were my son's toys anyway!) No matter how many times I try to tell these other kids that it's not nice to do that ... they come back acting the same way. I don't want their behavior to rub off on my son! How do you handle other people's kids when they aren't acting right?


Asked by Anonymous at 7:56 PM on Mar. 10, 2010 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • Personally, Bad behaved kids do not get invited back to my house.  If that means the parent do not come back, soo be it.


    Answer by louise2 at 8:01 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • If the mom doesnt address it then I say something like "thats not nice, don't take it from him, if you want it you can wait for a turn, but you don't want him taking something from you."

    and as far as the kid picking your son up - I would have been HOT! That needs to be addressed with mom and kid.

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 7:59 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • When my kids were little I allowed them to take "special" toys and put them in my bedroom so they didnt have to share. Any toys left in the room were to share. As for the other kids... when they are in my home they follow my rules if they do not follow my rules there ARE consequences. I would tell the other child he/she must share/take turns or he/she will not be permitted to use that particular toy. 

    And dont be afraid to call the mom and tell her it is time to pick up her child because things are not going well.  You dont have to tell her her child is a brat who will not share but you can say "the kids dont seem to be playing as well this playdate, I think we better call it a day"  it is more diplimatic.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:00 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • LOL... annon :00 here.

    The first poster assumed the mom was at the house and I assumed it was a drop off style playdate.
    Which was it??

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:05 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • The 5 yrs old that locked your child into another room needs not to be over or around yours or for that matter my child ever. The mother should have taken that child and told that child that was uncalled for and that they need to go home now.


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:06 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • kids are kids,they arent demons for acting like they dont wanna share,one day your kid will do the same and guess what?? it will be ok. Btw removing your kid and shutting a door on him is a total no no! next time get the kid and take him to mom and have him tell his mom what he did.

    SHE didn't do that! A 5 yr old child picked up her child and put him in another room and shut the door.

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 8:35 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • In answer to the previous questions:
    The kid that did that to my son is my new little sister (my mother adopted her about 2 years ago) So, can't really avoid her. (unfortunately. I mean, I know she's already dealt with so much, but that doesn't mean that my parents should allow her to act that way) When I did confront my mother about allowing her 5 year old to treat my son like that she just laughed and said 'oh no'. like your cutesy little 'oh no' is going to discipline your child? I'm thinkin' it's time for a serious talk. I want to tell her that I can't keep her kid if she won't act right, BUT my mom has been so helpful in taking care of my son if something comes up. And I really do appreciate that help. I just don't want to burn any bridges, ya know? (the other kids that have acted up like that, are friends that I can't really avoid. And I know 'kids will be kids' but I don't want my son to copy them, if possible)

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:35 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • What does your mom say? I am sure since she is family, your mom wants her to learn how to behave. When kids come over here we have an activity, like everyone plays play-doh at the table, or we go outside and draw with chalk.

    Answer by txdaniella at 9:02 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • This is really IMO not a huge deal, kids will share then not share, it is a process that last for many years. You are however talking about a 2 year old and a 5 year old, the 2 year old is still learning, give her a little break. With the 5 year old I would just say "No so and so was playing with that toy, when they are done you can have your turn" take the toy and hand it back to whoever was playing with it, it's not complicated and it shouldn't matter where you are.

    I remember one time my friends little boy came over, my youngest was 2 and her boy was 5, and while my guy was decent at sharing he wasn't great. Anyways, we found her son hiding in a corner, when we asked why he said "Because Cole keeps wanting everything I touch and I don't want to share anymore" now these were my son's toys but I understood, so we gave him some space and had my little guy back off a little, within 20 minutes they were palying togather.....

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 9:04 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • I have started to be an aide in my son's preschool class 2 days a week... it is taught that when one kid takes away a toy he must give it back and say "sorry I took the toy" then the other kid needs to say, "thanks you can have it when I'm done"...This way it is teaching the kids what to say and what to do, on their own without the parents coming to the rescue.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Mar. 11, 2010