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What do you do when your divorced and pregnant ?

This is really hard for me as i have said before i am pregnant with my ex husbands baby he has decided to move on he has a new girlfriend i found out the other day i am having another son do i call him and let him know whats going on with me and the kids or should i wait for him to call ? What about holidays do i invite him over for the parties we have for the kids this is hard for me please help

 
MOMO628

Asked by MOMO628 at 9:17 PM on Mar. 10, 2010 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • no. you are divorced you do not have to have him over for parties. if he wants to have parties for the kids, he should do it on his time.

    also, does he not have visitation set up through the courts? did he tell you he was moving on? does he not want to have anything to do with the kids? or did you just mean he was moving on because he has a girl friend?

    i would get a child support set up and make sure custody and visitation stuff is set up through the courts. i dont know if he can sign off on his rights if he doesnt want anything to do with the kids....but either way it sounds like you need to have some things taken care of through the court. i would not call him and update him on what is going on with you unless he has asked you to keep him updated on the new baby and older son. you do not need to talk to him about you. anything you talk about should be about the kids.
    aly38914290

    Answer by aly38914290 at 9:23 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • yes I would let him know about the baby & stay within your comfort zone.. really its a personal decision,
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 9:19 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • Let him know about the baby. You need to sit down and talk with him about holidays.
    JAIRATRACI

    Answer by JAIRATRACI at 9:24 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • So sorry you are going through this, you have to let him knot but do it when you are stronger. Be prepared for him not to come running back to you. Be prepared to be strong and take care of yourself and the baby. I would advise you also to seek child support. Do not let him go on that. Things will get hard and you will need help to take care of your baby financially.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 9:25 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • He deserves to know about this new baby AND pay child support. In addition, you should set up an agreement for visitation. I'm sorry that you're going through this and it will be difficult not calling him everyday for every little bitty thing. The only reason you should ever call him is to discuss children issues and don't make this an excuse to call him everyday or an attempt to disrupt his new relationship. He should have the right to choose whether to attend kids birthday parties, school events and/or sponsor them. Consider also joining a divorce/single parents support group.

    Ewadun

    Answer by Ewadun at 9:33 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • I agree with you receiving child support, but I think you both should try to agree on when the kids are going to visit him before ordering the child support. Yes I would get everything in writing notarized, but once its in writing you can be flexible with him, you don't have to stick to whats on paper, its only in writing to protect you both. if he doesn't want visitation he needs to put that in writing.. if you two can get along then yes do the parties together, most divorced couples do alternating holidays.
    talk to him see what he says.. & if you can came up with an agreement put it in writing. counseling for the kids.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:37 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • If my DH left me while I was pregnant and got with another woman I wouldn't be very nice to him. I would feel like if he cared about seeing his kids and knowing about his unborn child then he would initiate the contact, not me. You sound like a really super nice and thoughtful person. I admire your patience.

    Court documented custody decisions need to be made. Trying to play things by ear or a wait-and-see approach can be really tough on you and the children. You don't need the added stress of chasing him around while you are pregnant. Have your attorney do it for you.
    ecodani

    Answer by ecodani at 9:54 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • Isn't this something that the two of you discussed before choosing to have a baby?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • i would like to answer a question that the anonymous writer ask to my question " they asked isn't this something that the two of you discussed choosing to have a baby " when we chosed to have a baby we were still married and i thought we both were happy our divorced was finale a few days ago so that leaves me six months pregnant with his child
    MOMO628

    Answer by MOMO628 at 9:18 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

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