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MIL continues to help out 18 yr old son

Do you think it is OK for "grandma" to continue to help 18 year old financially. For example we told him he now had to get a job pay for his own cell and grandma bought him one and gave him two years of service. We bought him a car but told him to get a job and he has to pay for maint and everything else. Now the car has a problem and grandma is going to fix it. How will he ever learn to be responsible if someone always bails him out. He is in school but doesn't have a job and wont look for one. Thoughts?

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dillonsma

Asked by dillonsma at 9:58 PM on Mar. 10, 2010 in Money & Work

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • highschool?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • Yes he will graduate in May.
    dillonsma

    Answer by dillonsma at 10:04 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • My parents didn't really like the idea of me having a job while in school. If he keeps his grades up, then I don't see a problem with it. School should be his main focus and if Grandma has the means to help him out, then it's a blessing. If he is just mooching off of her so he can sit on his butt, that is a different story.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:08 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • The problem was getting him that car for free. He should have paid for at least 1/2 of it by working. Should have saved money for his insurance and maintenance too boot.


    Need to have a conversation to MIL or have your husband talk to her. 

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • As long as someone is providing for him he will be lazy and not want to do it hisself. I know a mama's boy that is 28 and still depends on mama. but she did it to herself by continuing to give to him; pay his bills, give him money, keep up his car, pay his insurance, etc. you need to have a talk with grandma and let her know he will not grow up and be responsible if he has everything handed to him.
    RaynDrop

    Answer by RaynDrop at 10:17 PM on Mar. 10, 2010

  • When he graduates, hand him a lease for his room
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:49 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • He and Granny are feeding off of each other. She provides a need that he wants met and He provides a need to her that she wants met. The two are working together to satisfy each other's needs. I don't know what you or anyone else is going to do about that, most relationships work on this platform in one form or another. I say leave them alone and let the two of them find out for themselves how they are helping and hurting each other, and mind your own business, he's 18 now and she's been an adult for a longer time than you.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 8:10 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

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