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How am I going to balance two children out?

I have a three year old little boy that I am extremely close to and my husband and I have a baby girl coming in April. Both of my children were planned and we actually had to undergo fertility drugs to concieve this time so everything was planned I just dont know how everything will play out. I always put my son to sleep and we always take naps togeather but i know once my little girl starts crying during the day we wont get that alone time cause daddy will be at work. I just dont want my son to feel like his mommy had been taken away at the same time I will be mothering two instead of one. How has it been in your home if you have two children?

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Asked by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 12:32 AM on Mar. 11, 2010 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 16 (2,456 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • I have 3 and it works out. What we did with our oldest when his baby brother was on the way was make him feel like it was his baby too. I let him help me pick out names and he talked to my belly, he helped get my hospital bag ready and get the baby clothes put away. the baby came two days before his 3rd birthday when he came to the hospital he wanted to play with his brother lol, the baby came home on his birthday. they are now 9 and 12 and still joke that the 9 y/o was his birthday present. I would include my oldest when i was sitting with baby and when we laid down for naps, i let him help with little things like bringing me a blanket or entertaining his brother making silly faces while i changed diapers. By the time we had our 3rd baby 3 years later he was telling his brother about all the cool things you can do with a baby. It comes naturally and youll find you worried over nothing. contd

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 12:38 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I also made special time for my oldest and still do this for all my kids, If someone feels left out or like they are not getting enough mom time I take them with me and we stop and get a treat and talk about what they have going on at school or other activities.

    It sounds like a huge task to split your self between children but you find that it is very easy to make time for each and to let them know they are loved.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 12:41 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I have a cousin who had a 3 yr old and then had another and what she did was get him a boydoll, so he could feel just as important as mom. he got to use the new babies blankets and put "his" baby in the swing. Every time the new baby cried my cousin would tell her to go get his baby and it was kinda bonding for them. He got to feel just as important by having his own baby, he never felt left out. Actually they gave him his own baby the first time he saw his brother. and they held their babies and talked about how much work and fun it was going to be.
    you don't have to do that but it is just important to include your son in everything and let him help out as much as he wants. That way he won't be resentful.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • Thank you so much for sharing that, I feel a little better now hearing it from someone else. My husband keeps saing it will all fall into place but men and women are very different and were way more emotionl then they are lol or atleast I am.

    Answer by LANDENSMOMMYlmk at 12:44 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I too had fertility issues. We wanted a big family so once we were able to finally get pregnant (took us 6 years) we had to have our children back to back because my husband and I were getting older. I had a girl and we were so super close and I did all her bedtime/bathtime routines. Then when she was 20 months old I had my son. I'll be honest, my daughter and I aren't as close, but maybe it's a good thing because she and I had our own little world together and now we function more like an entire family unit. My husband took over bedtime/bathtime for her and I took care of the baby. Then when my son was 20 months old we had our second daughter. Now my husband does bedtime/bathtime of the toddlers while I take care of the baby.

    At first everything will seem off until you get a routine going. Once you hit a comfortable rhythm, you 2 will start tag teaming the kids. It will seem natural after a while.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 9:12 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I have 3 kids ages 7, 5 and 3 and you will find a way to make it work. My 3 rd son was a surprise and he came 6 weeks early and was only 3 pounds so it was very hard but we made it work.. I was able to get a nanny to help out during the day for the first year of my 3rd sons life but we just make it work.. They are on a schedule and it works .. We sneak away for mommy and daddy
    good luck

    Answer by andersonboys3 at 9:18 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • We just had a baby last November and my little girl turned three not too long before baby was born. It will take a little adjusting at first. Make sure you have someone to help you ( that way you won't feel too overwhelmed from sleep deprivation). If your hospital allows it take your older child on a tour of the hospital, they usually allow them to see the babies in the maternity ward. Once baby arrives it helps to have a gift ready for your older child and tell him it's from baby. I tried to do this, but since it was flu season she wasn't allowed to go. I still gave it to her and even now she'll say "mommy, baby sister gave this to me" lol Anyhow, involve him in everything, let him help. When baby naps spend one on one time with him as well. It took a little time for my dd to adjust, but now my baby is three months and she can't stop smothering her. Congratulations and good luck!

    Answer by Gelijones at 10:17 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

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