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I am unhappy help!

I move from New York city to Jacksonville FL 2 months ago because my fiance got a grate job offer here he is an Engineer, I have 2 girls from my previous marriage 4 and 5 year old he treats them as his own and provides well for them, We have a nice place and live well , The problem is when we met he told me he could not have kids 2 months ago I got pregnant ,I am not happy about it I feel sick all the time and i can't let my family know because I am not married to him and they would be disappointed, He work hard come home and help out with the kids he is very good with them, but I feel he is distant from me, I am so depress I wish I was not pregnant and i just want to move back to New York, I want to get back to working an and having a life , I have no friends here before I had a busy life always going out and shopping at fun places now i feel like my life is over help I am so depress .

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Asked by Gabbyandbellamo at 9:06 AM on Mar. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (4)
  • awww, i'm so sorry for you.sounds like you need a big hug from a friend. :) Remember..pregnancy can cause your hormones to really go nutty and can contribute to you feeling depressed..on top of all the other recent changes in your life. Maybe your SO is distancing himself because he feels bad having gotten you pregnant after he said he was unable and he feels responsible for your sadness. Try talking to him, ask him how he feels about having this baby with you.Maybe if you were happy about it, he would let himself be happy too. As for your family...just tell them. They might be dissappointed but they will get over it...I mean, you may not be married but youre living as a married so many people do these days. If you can't shake the feeling of depression and it feels like its kinda taking over your life, make an appt with your ob,maybe you can get something like zoloft to help.Good Luck!!

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 9:20 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • "Remember..pregnancy can cause your hormones to really go nutty and can contribute to you feeling depressed"

    Boy, is this ever true. With my first pregnancy, I had been married to my husband for 8 years. My hormones went bonkers and I felt like I hated him throughout most of the pregnancy. There was no real reason for my feelings, it was just the pregnancy. I've had 3 babies and during all 3 pregnancies I hated my husband.

    That being said, this baby is coming so you need to tell your parents. So they'll be disappointed? They will get over the disappointment and the shock and will be happy and excited for this grandchild. You need your parents' love and support right now, especially from your mom. Give them a call right now.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 9:32 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • It's ok with your family to live with him and sleep with him and have your children be raised by him...just not get pregnant by him without marriage? That's just silly. This is circumstantial depression. You can fix this. Just get married and it will all be fine.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:15 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Everyone makes mistakes. You didn't plan on getting pregnant but you are. I think your family has to accept that, and I hope they do. Just try to remind yourself that all of this is a temporary situation. Just a phase of your life. Can you try to get out and make friends where you are now? Even if you just have one really good friend to talk to where you are, and to hang out with.
    I know my dh is like a mirror, if I am distant, he is distant. If I am mad, he is mad. Maybe your SO is feeling the same way?
    The sickness will go away before you know it, and all will be well. Maybe you'll never get your old life back, but it could be a better life. Try to be grateful for all that you do have. Sounds like you got a pretty good guy there.
    I know counseling has really helped me during my rough spots.
    I hope you feel better. Congrats on the new baby!

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 4:41 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

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