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My daughter did it again, 14 and she did not come home until 7pm.

I could not find her. She was at the park with friends, which I think is BS. I don't know my baby anymore.

So I went home took her contacts, clothes, DS and tv away. Bye bye baby.

Then she comes in and acts like she did nothing wrong. Are you kidding me, I was burning up inside.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Mar. 11, 2010 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (17)
  • If she had a cell phone why didn't you just call her after school to see where she was. I don't think 7 pm is a big deal, if you continue to be so strict she is going to lie to you more and not be open to you about her life!

    kjfamily

    Answer by kjfamily at 11:19 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • yeah 7 pm is not late at all...granted she should have told you but still you need to give your daughter some freedom...if you are a nazi to her she won't respect you and will end up hating you...of course set rules but you need to let her be young too....and you definitely took it way too far with the punishment....you should have talked to her before you took all of her stuff
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:31 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I think what you did was right. We live in a world where all kinds of bad and scary things happen to kids..and young teenage girls are a target. She should have at least let you know where she was so you wouldnt freak out. Explain to her when she gives you the respect of letting you know where she is she can have that little bit of freedom of hanging out with her friends at a park...its a small price to pay.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:34 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I didnt see where OP said she had a cell phone maybe I missed that. I would have to say at 14 not coming home until 7 is a big deal, at least to me it is. I dont care if my kids are17 unless they have a school activity or some other activity like sports, scouts, clubs etc then they need to come home and do homework and chores before going anywhere else unless we have already discussed alternate plans.

    I can see why you would be upset OP, at 14 you have a right to know exactly where you child is and who they are with at all times. I would have added picking her up from school as part of the punishment (if it is something you can do) There is no reason she can not come home and check in with you. I did at that age my parents would have kicked my rear if I just did whatever i wanted after school and didnt come home until 7.
    3_ring_circus_

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 11:35 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • My son turns 14 today. I am at work when he comes home from school..he gives me a call, then, proceeds to go with friends and stay until 7, 8 or 9. He knows 9 is the limit. He is allowed to be out until then without my knowing his exact whereabouts. He has a cheap prepay phone with a few minutes to use only to tell me if he is going somewhere different or to ask to go to town with friends, etc. Or, I can call and tell him to come eat supper or whatever. I think you may need to have some guidelines in place, but, she needs to be able to stay out till 7 with a few friends.
    BradenIsMySon

    Answer by BradenIsMySon at 11:38 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I agree with anon 11:31. I mean, you are the parent... but 7pm for a 14 year old sounds a little strict, and the way that you sounded, she's supposed to be home BEFORE that. Granted, it's your house and your rules, but I don't blame her one bit for wanting to be out that late. When I was 14, I liked to hang out with friends until 8 or so, then come home and I came out just fine. I have great morals, I am very family oriented and I try my hardest to be the best mom I can be. Think about it. She spends ALL day in school, comes home and does even MORE school and whatever chores she needs to... wouldn't you want some down time too? She's a teen. She needs a social life, or she will get restless. And a restless teen is a VERY BAD thing. I think you should sit down and have a talk with her and discuss what she thinks is appropriate and what you think is appropriate and go from there. Just an idea.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:41 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • You are being a little strict. I used to be allowed out until 9:00 on school nights at that age. And in this day and age with cell phones, texting, gps, you should be able to contact her find out where she is. If you push her away by punishment like this she will rebel and maybe not even come home.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • Your house your rules. She should have respect for whatever time you told her to be home PERIOD! however, if she finished homework, and isnt introuble for any other reason, whats wrong with her being out? at 14 I was in highschool. I cant imagine my mom putting me under lock and key to that extent. I never really asked for much freedom though! I think maybe you guys could sit down and work out something, maybe so she feels like she is growing up and getting more freedom, but still under your guidelines!! Would it be okay if you knew exactly where she was? Would it be okay if her grades were great and you knew who she was with and all that jazz. Or she just simply CAN NOT be out at that time!?
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 12:03 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • You did the right thing. Your house, your rules. From the 7th grade-11th grade my sons had to be home by dark on school nights (even if dark was 5p) because where we live you walk every where and there's nothing to do after dark. My sons were not allowed to drive in cars with teen drivers at those ages. Before the 7th grade they came home immediately following whatever sports activity they were in and stayed home for the night on school nights. They started driving as Juniors & they were NEVER allowed to drive with other teen drivers until this school year but it doesn't happen often since they have their own cars. Once they started driving as Juniors they had to be home by 8p on school nights. They are now Seniors and it's in by 9pm on school nights except on nights (1-2 nights a week) that they work during the week and then they come home right after work (which is no later than 10:15). On weekends it's midnight.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:42 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I personally think 7 is a little on the strict side for someone that age. I don't think you were wrong by handing out discipline if it is a rule of the house, but I do think you should consider lightening up a little with the time thing.
    Shlamoof

    Answer by Shlamoof at 2:37 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

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