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What should I do?

My neighbor's niece invited only 2 of my 3 children (but she plays with all 3 of them when she's at my neighbors house) to her upcoming birthday party . Should I mention it to the mother, me neighbor or leave it alone because the one she didn't invite is understandably upset about it.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Mar. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (6)
  • I wouldn't let any of the 3 go - if she can't invite them all but they all play together, then none can go.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:56 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I don't think punishing the other two by not letting them go is the answer. This is sort of a life lesson that I think is good for little ones to learn. They aren't going to always be included in everything. Drop off the two that were invited and then spend some special 1 on 1 time with the one that wasn't .
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • And as far as I know, there have never been any problems between the girl and my oldest daughter (who wasn't invited). And I wouldn't feel right by not letting the two that were invited go but at the same time, my daughter who wasn't invited will feel left out especially since all 4 of them play together when they're together. It's a tough call and a horrible place to be in as a parent.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • Can you drop off the 2 that were invited and leave? If you can, then I would take the one that wasn't invited out to do something special. If you are not able to drop them off (I mean if you are expected to stay with them) then I would say talk to the neighbor about it very very politely. Maybe she could only invite a certain number of kids or something due to their budget or something like that.
    AprilDJC

    Answer by AprilDJC at 1:07 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • You know, I get that kids have to learn disappointment. And I am a big believer in not having to invite the ENTIRE class to a bday party. I also have 2 dds that are a yr apart. If this was someone that was in my older dds class and SHE was invited and the other wasnt I would be ok with that. I would let the older one go. If this was a friend that was DISTINCTLY only one or the other child's friend i see the argument. However if they are ALL playing with this child equally and plan on continuing too I would not leave the one child out. I mean seriously....how could this NOT cause problems on future play dates?? I would not let any of the children go and explain to them that it was probably a child limit thing. I can understand that, so I wouldn't force the issue with the part thrower. I would take them all out to do something or plan on doing something in the house.

    momof030404

    Answer by momof030404 at 1:32 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • Is the one that was left univited the younger of the 3? Maybe she has older activities planned and didnt think the younger one is suitable to attend. If shes old enough to be upset though..shes probably old enough to go.Poor thing. Maybe it was an oversight on moms part. Just give her a call and tell her your 3rd girl is a little upset and you want to know if there was a reason or if it was an oversight. I'm sure its explainable. If she can't go..maybe you can plan something special for the two of you to do together while the other girls are at the party.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:39 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

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