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Husband addicted to pain pills!! Help me please!!!!

My husband had been addicted to pain pills for 15 years now. He has gone to rehab and tried to get clean but it seems everytime he gets out they just give him stronger pain pills to kick the addiction. Well once these pills run out he is back to the methodone oxis and vicodens. He has the spells where he just treats me like shit for no reason at all.
He is a great husband and father other then then addiction. What can do I? I dont want to leave him because I love him so much and realy dont know what I would do with out him. I just need some positive advice please. My heart is hurting

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Mar. 11, 2010 in Health

Answers (8)
  • Speaking from experience, there is NOTHING YOU can do. It's up to him. My DH has been in recovery for almost 4 years, but he is still in treatment. I would say IF your DH is serious and wants to get clean he will need to do the things that will take him down that road. That could require a total life change including a new job, new town, and new friends. It's really a hard thing to do, but it CAN be done. BOTH of you need a great support system and if you don't have that it's even harder.

    Look in to NA and NarAnon. as well as additional medical support. My DH is on Suboxone, it's made a huge difference! It's similar to Methadone, but different. IF he relapses he faces detox with in hours, it's expensive, but an added reason to stay clean until he can deal with the other issues which contribute to his addiction.

    Message me if you need support or just to vent!
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 1:04 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I agree there is nothing you can do. He needs to want the help, and quitting cold is what helped my friend.
    hot-mama86

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 1:34 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • Suboxone is what they have given him before and it helped until they didnt give it to him no more.
    He does not have a job right now, we can not change our place of residence so that is out of the question, so pretty much you are saying there is nothing we can do but slowly watch him kill himself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • Have you discussed this with him? Your fears, your hurt, what he does? My husband had multiple injuries over the years that caused him to be on pain meds for a long time. Last year he lost his finger and due to his immunity to pain meds they prescribed him Roxys, which 1 is like equal to 4 loratab 10s and he still eats them like skittles. He knows he has a problem and has been to rehab but it didn't do anything because they grouped him with people addicted to coke and meth. There's more drugs floating around rehab then on the street and he doesn't like being told what he can and can't do. He says he can stop but doesn't really want to since his DR keeps prescribing them to him. Yes, he often gets mean like you mentioned with your husband and I stop him when he does and makes sure he realizes he's being a dick for no reason and his attitude changes back rather quickly.

    cont
    momtotrips

    Answer by momtotrips at 2:09 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I sat and talked with him and asked if I could help him since rehab didn't. Please look up information on addiction and how it works. I don't have addiction problems and couldn't understand how the brain works. When we experimented with drugs in college it was no problem for me to quit, so I needed to understand how addition works in the brain. Once I had info I went to him and asked if he could work with me on this because I hated to see him destroy himself. He wasn't the man I married and had kids with. He, by the hardest, allowed me to take all his pills and when he wanted some, he had to come ask me. I wouldn't ever say no he couldn't have one, just wanted to be the holder of them. We've been doing this for 6 months now, along with talking to me about his feelings when he wants one and we're progressing slowly; better then what rehab did.
    momtotrips

    Answer by momtotrips at 2:16 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • My next step is getting his DR to lower the amount he receives a month and talking with his general physician to see if there's anything else I can do to help him and get him off the pills without dealing with a rehab program. I have more understanding of how him and his brain works then what a rehab program does. Rehab treats coke, crack and meth addicts the same as someone with a pill problem. Not everyone's brain works the same. Plus, it's nice for them knowing you are understanding and care about them.
    momtotrips

    Answer by momtotrips at 2:20 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • momtotrips - when he starts lying; scamming and stealing; not paying the bills; etc to support his habit above all else; you'll re-think how a pill addiction isn't the same as coke; crack; meth - in fact it's all triggering the same receptors.

    My fiance has been struggling for a little over 5 yrs - we have many relapses; he's been to several out patient programs on the suboxone and the subutex; and he just complete an inpatient program not 6 mos ago. That's his last chance. I don't want to leave; but I've done my part; I've worked the 50+hr weeks while he spent everything he made and what I made on pills and then utilities were turned off etc...I'm NOT having these children grow up like that. I tried to be supportive & understanding because of them and the love we shared but I won't let them grow up thinking it's normal or right.

    OP - it's his choice to get help - support til you can give no more than take care of you
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:08 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I can totally emphathize with you. My husband is addicted to pain pills-I did not realize to what extent until he became laid off from work, money was low, and just keeps getting lower. I do not understand how he can go waste $80 on pills when we're broke, almost out of groceries, and still have bills to pay. We have 3 small kids together and I feel like I have to leave him in order to provide for them and protect them financially. I'm tired of broken promises and being the only one who cares about our family. He used to be a wonderful man, now he is just a stranger. I feel like I can not be happy or ever relax. When he is out of pills he is so mean, when he is in a good mood, it angers me b/c i know he's bought pills. I am working OT, doing all the housework, taking care of kids, cooking dinner, everything and feel like he is just a leech sucking the life out of me. I do not want to divorce b/c I want my kids every day
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:37 AM on Apr. 19, 2010

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