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For those who have had a child removed from Daycare/school

My DS is 5 and has a lot to deal with (divorce and father). His behavior became very difficult these last few months and the daycare told me 2 days ago they could no longer keep him (yet they do not want me to remove my DD). Now his school is talking about independent studies. I'm a single mom that works full time. I need to work to take care of us. I'm stressed and my heart breaks for my DS. I know he feels lost, unliked, angry and can't explain or express it. These last few days have felt hopeless and like a dark cloud is following us.

If you've had a similar situation, how did you get through it?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Mar. 11, 2010 in General Parenting

Answers (10)
  • how old is your DS?

    Many states/areas have a child care expulsion prevention program, is that a possibility for you?

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 1:09 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • ugh my answer didnt go through.

    It sounds like he is school age, your school has therapist on staff who can help him through this, that is part of why they are there. Most school have friendship groups for kids who are having a rough patch. I would discuss with the school these options and stress the importance of not making more changes in his life, that keeping life as normal as possible while he adjust is very important.

    as for daycare i would pull all kids, if one isnt welcome why should you leave the other there, and make two stops every day and write two checks each month that is just silly.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 1:14 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • His 5 years old. He is also a young 5 year old (born October). The school promised they would get a district eval for him but instead I was getting called out of work almost everyday to come get him. I am pulling out my DD. They daycare can't just pick which child of mine they can deal with. I live in CA and I don't think we have a program like that. Not sure...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:26 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • That is so sad, you would think proffessionals of children would know better than to do this to a child that has recently gone through some life changes. They should have been willing to work with you in helping your child. I would contact a family services center in your area,give them a call and explain what is going on. They may be able to help your child get into the counseling that he needs and be set into a program that prevents schools from being able to kick a child out due to some behavior issues that may be associated with his recent life changes. Any child professional should know that adding the feeling of rejection to a child after thier parents divorce is a horrible thing to do. I seperated from my sons father when he was 4 years old,he is now almost 10 and just THIS year he is starting to overcome it.It takes time,sometimes even years.I also contacted family services and had him in counseling.It helped.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:29 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I also wanted to add...that goes for daycares as well as schools.

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 1:30 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • If he is in school then you need to put your request for an evaluation in writing. In CA they only have X number of days (i think it's 30 or 60 i don't remember) to reply to that request. DO NOT BACK DOWN. they will try to talk you out of the evaluation. insist on it. Good luck.
    my DS1 has a lot of issues and i pulled him out of school to homeschool. It's working out great! his behavior issues have really changed already and it's only been a couple weeks.

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:30 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • ditto the PP, put your request in writing and send it certified mail, so they can't deny they got it. They have 60 days to do an eval

    Answer by peanutsmommy1 at 1:35 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • Outstandinglove-I WISH I could homeschool my children. You are very blessed. I need to be with my son. I wish I could find a way but ti's so unrealistic.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • It's unrealistic for me (just to clarify) since my income is all we have. I don't even get child support. He witnessed domestic violence which a therapist called it "second hand violence" and just as bad.

    The school was calling me out of work to get him almost evey single day. Today and tomorror he is staying with my sisters and mom. I will put in a request and send it certified TODAY. But I still don't know what to do after that...

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I had to take my 3 year old out of daycare because every day they would write up a report on all the things he was doing wrong. But then my husband went in one day to check up on him and he was banging on a file cabinet while the teacher was doing story time ignoring him. They weren't disicplining my son in any way, and weren't willing to work with him either. They complained about him every day, but didn't want him to leave the daycare either. They said they couldnt' put him into time out because of state guidelines, but this is how we discipline him at home. There were too many kids and not enough teachers. We ended up putting him into a home based daycare with less children and who have similar discipline styles as we do. We did have him tested and he only has a speech delay. he was just getting in trouble because they were letting him get away with it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:55 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

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