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is making & keeping new friends at 34 possible, when u have young kids?

I'm 34 I have a few people who I thought were my friends & some are, but some of them always find an accuse of why we can't hang out, say yes then change their mind at the last min, or hardly ever make the first move to try to get together. They have never told me I offended them nor can I think of a reason they are mad at me.I wonder if because we became friends three years ago & things have changed in my life ALOT since then.my heart aces because I moved a lot as a kid so never had a chance to make long lasting buddies.I love my sweetie but I long to have a female to talk to.All of us have young kids so that makes it hard also. And there is a age difference with my friends most of them are older. sometimes I think I seem desepearte , so I am trying not to contact them until they contact me. I have made many freinds in the past done many favors for them, & kids played together, but then they stop taking to me suddenly.

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maiahlynn

Asked by maiahlynn at 2:23 PM on Mar. 11, 2010 in Relationships

Level 13 (1,143 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I am so sorry as I know what you are going through. We have moved a lot in the past few years and as a stay at home mom with young children it's hard to get out and meet people. Here are some things that I have done to meet people and made some close mommy friends.
    We joined a moms group through meetup.com. If there is no moms group started in your area then you could start one. That's what I did when I first moved. I also joined MOPS and then I also met a mom who i became good friends with at my daughter's dance class. Since we saw each other every week it was a great way to get to know each other and then we had a BBQ at our house and invited them over.
    My friends that I had before kids I still have them but the relationship has definitely changed. We try to email and call each other a couple of times a month just to stay in touch.
    lil_angel00

    Answer by lil_angel00 at 2:35 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • yes, of course ! I too wonder sometimes at age 47. I've moved here to Culpeper County from Loudoun where I had many friends close by. I now live in the middle of no where and it's difficult to make friends because I'm shy. The Homeschool group I used to belong to I made a few friends, but sometimes we all get so busy. I wish you luck. I think I rather have a few real good friends than many friends if you know what I mean.
    Aldea

    Answer by Aldea at 2:37 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I just started to be friends with all my kids mothers..Its easiest to just hang out with them and do kid activities or switch off play dates and doing favors for each other.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • *friends mothers* sorry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:48 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I understand what you mean, and yes, it can be done. It's hard, though. To find someone of similar interests, and who enjoys what you do. I have found a real friend on a crochet/knitting website...and we have been together for over 2 years..calling each other and sending gifts...even getting our homeschooled children to talk to each other. She lives far away, but we talk on the phone for hours every week. My best friend I met through a homeschool group. I have other wonderful friends I met in church. Lots of places, but the one thing you have to be willing to do it to reach out to someone else...especially if they are going through a rough time, and support them. Be willing to risk heartache for the sake of a friend. Be known for being dependable, loyal and loving. (But discerning, as well.) I wish you all the best in your quest for a friend!
    singnstitch

    Answer by singnstitch at 3:12 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I work part-time, have four kids 11,7,3, & 9 months, & live in a small apartment. i am joining a kickboxing class soon & am going to invite my friends & I can only hope they come so we can become closer.. I have tried to become freinds with moms of my kids friends, but I am not always successful..
    maiahlynn

    Answer by maiahlynn at 3:15 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I think you are very normal. I am 33, happily married with 3 kids. I have, lets see, ummmm ONE friend that I've had since high school. We rarely even talk or see each other so it's like I have zero friends. We just moved an hour north so that makes it more difficult. I met 1 lady up here and we hit it off....until I realized I was putting in ALL the effort. That failed. Then I met another woman I really liked but she simply treated me like a damn taxi and favor do-er so I haven't really spoken to her lately either. It is so hard to find and make friends. I think I'll just have to be happy with my husband and mom as my friends.
    Orionsgirl

    Answer by Orionsgirl at 4:19 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I found this question so interesting because I remember when we attended our daughters High School Orientation at the beginning of the year. After talking for awhile, the Principal told the kids to look around at all of their friends. He then told them that many of these friends would most likely NOT be their friends by the time they graduated because peoples interests change, people move away, new people arrive, etc. He said to make the most of the time you have with your friends & get used to change because life is all about change. I'm sorry that you are having some oddness with your friends but rest assured that you can & will make new friends. When my children were younger & we moved to a city where I knew noone, I took my kids to the public library for "kid time", joined Parks & Rec groups, Little League & before we knew it, we all had new friends!! So get out there, try new things & you'll make new friends too!!
    Blessed5s

    Answer by Blessed5s at 10:17 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

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