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Adoption dilemma

I'm due to have a baby in July and have been talking with a couple for past months i up until today liked without question.However,when i told them i hope i could make it out to them before the last few weeks depending on health of me and baby because i been having preterm already or they would need to come here they got all bent out of shape because now all of a sudden there farm duties can not take away for this,well than how can they raise baby and she told me she once baby is born would be a stay at home mom but yet they can't now make it away for thier birth and it's 'my fault they will maybe miss out what has been there dream for last 10 years ? Also they do not want to travel all the way home with baby since that would be horrible ? what would you do no papers have been signed or any thing has been paid out for help or for legal fees so how do i approach this now?

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Asked by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Mar. 11, 2010 in Adoption

Answers (53)
  • Okay you are going to get hit on this hard from both sides. I normally would not tell someone what choice to make in the situation, BUT I think this is a huge sign that you should not be doing this. As birthmom myself I realize how capable I really was and I just allowed others make me believe I had no business raising my child. I would think this over until you are blue in the face. Something isn't right here. PM me if you want to talk, I'll tell you more.

    Answer by Steff107 at 8:52 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • cont. from OP..Than i have made no legal agreement of terms and they are guilting me that this is there last chance since they been hurt before by moms to be well now i'm wondering the truth behind it.She told me that they have started to make a cradle for baby yet they said they had a nursery already set up due to last possible adoption lots has been coming out al of a sudden which is giving me red flags..

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • You need to do some soul searching. List the reasons that you want to place this baby for adoption and what kind of parents you want for this baby. If they meet those standards which seems like they "did", then go through with it. If not, reconsider.


    Answer by legalmommy101 at 8:53 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • Something is wrong here honey!!! I don't even know you and I feel it in my gut! Something is off!

    Answer by Steff107 at 8:54 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • OP HERE :I know i want to give the baby up so this is not a question of me changing my mind but...regarding the perspective parents yes to that part.I'm doing this to give my child the best it deserves.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • I'm with Steff107.....THINK it over. You CAN still change your mind...but even if you decide to go ahead with the adoption, from what you've said, there is something not right with this couple. THINK LONG AND HARD.

    Answer by meriana at 8:58 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • The best it deserves is YOU being it's mom! Are you in any of the adoption groups? I really think you should talk to some of them who have been through it! I thought I was sure too.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • Steff..see was not until today when she got almost abusive when i said my doctor advised no travel for now and can't say yes to it later and they were fine with this when we first talked about birth options and now all of a sudden they are using the farm and harvesting as a reason this would be not fair to them ?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:59 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • To anon,yes i agree the baby deserves to be with me but when your a mom or mom to be any decision you make has to be for the best interests of the child so this is what i need to do as hard as it will be.I will not get into the reasons why but that is not important as to doing what is right for the circumstances.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:02 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

  • RUN and don't look back. I wish you knew me a little better to know I am not a kook(because I'm gonna tell you something!lol)
    I really believe in signs that are put in our lives. We go through life maybe only reading a few of them and we walk right past the others.Don't walk past this one. What does your gut tell you? I really feel you know your answer here.
    Please join the adoption group if you can. You really need to see the reality of it before you do it. Just to make sure you are double sure. It's a big deal!

    Answer by Steff107 at 9:05 PM on Mar. 11, 2010

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