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Do you get upset when friends don't reply to messages?

I hate it when so-called friends/relatives ignore messages on facebook, or emails I send them, or invitations written on actual pieces of paper, for that matter. I invited two friends' children to my son's birthday party through detailed facebook messages, asking them to let me know if they could make it, and got no response whatsoever. For both my daughter and son's birthday parties I gave out invitations and asked parents to RSVP and hardly a single person responded. I asked my sister a really personal question through facebook message (she's in Korea so it's one of our few ways of communicating) and she said she'd think about it and answer me later and she never did. This was months ago. I answer every message/invitation I receive promptly and expect others to do the same. Why are people so rude? Does this happen to you? Am I right to be upset? Should I cross these people off my list?

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Asked by popcornlover at 12:37 AM on Mar. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 8 (238 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • OMG! I was just thinking the same thing today driving home from work....I ask my cousin a question...and get nothing! I ask a friend something waiting for a reply......and nothing! It's like are you still alive should I be worried you can't answer a simple question.....cmon you can't be that busy! I guess you have to take it with a grain of salt if they don't rsvp for the bday party then I guess it means a big NO! It's sad people want you to be your friend or your family wants to stay in touch but they can't send a simple answer/message back. Sorry! your not alone and we are in the same boat!!! :) I am off to check my EMPTY message box!!! HAHA ;)

    Answer by MayMommy07 at 1:49 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Yep. I think it's rude. Especially when there is evidence that they have been on facebook since. How hard is it to reply with a short "glad to hear from you! How are you?" or something like that?

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:49 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • It bothers me to an extent. But then again I know that a lot of my friends are going through some tough times right now so I give them some lee way. My cousin is also deployed and he is on my Facebook and I barely hear from him. Even told him to tell me when he was coming home on leave and no answer. I was upset but he's a Marine so I understand it. Barely anyone RSVP's to parties in my family. We just make sure there is enough in case they show up. We only call if we can't make it. I don't see any reason to cross them off your list unless you really don't want to talk to them again.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:38 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I do have a problem with people who never seem to reply to a message or RSVP to whatever event, but I understand that sometimes things just simply get overlooked. I know I have done it before, and I am big on replies and courtesy, but we are only human. I make allowances for people who do not reply to me if it is totally out of character for them, but the people who are constantly flaky do really bother me. I have found that the people who never reply are the types of people I don't really want to be friends with anyway, because they are generally unreliable in other areas as well. Those are the people that I pretty much just stop inviting or corresponding with and I do not miss them at all.
    I think that common courtesy and manners are really hard to come by nowadays and so many people just never were taught any better.

    Answer by KTMOM at 9:04 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • sometimes. I don't think a lot of people take "evites" too seriously but if you read them, you can usually tell if you were a mass invite or if this is actually something special and people just stink at rsvp's anymore. And other electronic messaging can fail or is easily forgotten when its interrupted by a call or drowned out in someone's inbox by other mail. If they're keeping up with you in other ways, maybe they're just really busy or the note was missed. Try asking them in person next time or giving them an invitation and say you really need to get an rsvp from them. Honestly though, when I ignore people's messages, it may be because I don't want to answer or because I've seen/heard for that person a little too much lately. I'm not saying that's you, but if its happening all the time, its something to think about.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:09 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I never look at my evites. The last time i did was for some dumb movie yes WHY cant people just take 3 min to sat something..RUDE people

    Answer by ryanlynn at 9:27 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Say*

    Answer by ryanlynn at 9:27 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Sometimes people get caught up with life, and messages get buried under new happens. =]


    Answer by ajtherad at 9:43 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • It's good to know I'm not alone in this!

    Answer by popcornlover at 12:03 AM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • Just...leave them be.

    I will assume a true friendship, to you, would mean one or all of the following:
    Knowing what you do, how you're feeling and where you are would be of interest to her.
    The occasional greeting along with heartfelt affections would be SOMEWHERE on your wall or messages.
    Imagine you in your home, your 'friend' in the yard. You joyfully usher her in and she stays rooted in place. Offering you an empty stare. Your expectations dashed as she looks down the street, more absorbed with what may be happening elsewhere. You would break your own heart if you allowed for this to happen again.
    Stop opening the door, darling. Know there is a vast amount of new hearts available to you. You're better than 'begging' for the empty attentions of those who obviously hold you in no higher regard than an intruding stranger; even strangers are treated to a polite "how are you"
    You deserve better.
    Leave them be.

    Answer by ramsy at 6:39 PM on Nov. 16, 2014

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