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i really need some good advice.

so my husband is deployed and he is wanting to do the swinger life style thing i asked him what made him change his mind and he said he wanted to live a little and that we are both young.. but a few months ago he was jealous of me even having guy friends. and he would get mad because if i brought up the swinger life.. i am now pregnant with his child. i just find it kinda weird how all of sudden he wants to do this.
could it be because hes scared im going to be fat and less attractive? or what could it be?? how do men think? please help.

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amanda202010

Asked by amanda202010 at 12:53 AM on Mar. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Level 4 (50 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • honestly, i think it's because he's interested in other females but doesn't want to hurt you by cheating.
    it might also be because he might think that you are less likely to get a boyfriend now because you are pregnant. so he wouldn't need to feel jealous but he could still bone whoever he wanted.

    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 12:58 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Maybe he has already had a relationship with another woman? This way he doesn't feel guilt for what he has already done if he goes along with the swinger lifestyle.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:06 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • i thought of that too anon. but thought it would be better if i avoided saying that.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 1:08 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I doubt he's saying this because he's already been with another woman. If so, he would have been overjoyed when you brought up the swinger lifestyle months ago. Sounds to me like it took him awhile to process what you were saying about the lifestyle, and the idea has grown on him. I'm sure it's not because he thinks you're going to be fat or unattractive either. It's probably because you planted the seed in his mind, and like he said, you're both young and far apart. If you're both ok with the idea, go for it.
    popcornlover

    Answer by popcornlover at 1:14 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • No... it's not because of the way you ( might) look.. It's because he probably has found someone else he wants to sleep with and he wants your permission to do so!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:46 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • the swing life style is not for marriage couples who love eachother.. Cause it giving the other permission to cheat, and be with another, when sex is suppose to be only for marriage couples.. The love making should be between you two.. Can you see you guys will be committing adultery, cause you belong to him, and he belongs to You.. Love is special, so marriage, it should be sacred, and kept that way.. When you invite others into it, into your bed, it wont be the same. Dont try the swinglife style, it could hurt your marriage... Just be true to eachother, even when apart, deployment is hard, i know. Pray for him to be faithful...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:45 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • It's not fair for him to ask this of you, especially when you're pregnant, the playing field is not equal. Tell him you'll consider it once the baby is born, you've healed, and had a chance to feel like yourself again. He's asking for permission to cheat and banking on the fact that you being pregnant will keep you from doing the same, he's an ass. Even if he's just scared there's no excuse, don't be his doormat.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:12 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Guys I think like the idea of being with another women but hate the idea of their women with a man. I say just ask him why the change of heart and can he handle it both ways. Me and mine talked about doing it but honestly I doubt it will happen because. Of jealousy issues. I plan to spend my life with him and don't want something like that hurting us. I have yet to see a couple do it and survive.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:31 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • don't mean to upset you, but he may have already done something with someone else and is bringing up swinging to try and make it OK-
    I hope I'm wrong, but that would be my guess.
    Maybe he hasn't and wants to explore, but I'd think long and hard before you open up that can of worms you can never close again.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:45 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • "when sex is suppose to be only for marriage couples" according to who? you don't have to follow anyone else's rules other than your own and your husbands. While I would be very careful over the idea of swinging, make SURE you want to go down that road-
    you don't have to live up expectations someone else has set. This is your marriage, you need to do things according to what you and your husband feel is best-
    no one else's opinion needs to matter
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:49 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

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