Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Need Advice Desperately!!!!

Okay now My husband and I have one daughter. We are financially stable in a semi/pretty stable career(army). We have been arguing a lot lately about one thing. Babies! Surprisingly tables have turned. I want to wait and he wants another now. He asks my reasons why and I don't know what to say. It's a scary thought to me too have 1 child with him getting deployed so I can't imagine 2. I see women do it all the time and I truly salute them. I love my daughter and she is a wonderful joy to us. I know another would be as well but im terrified. This is taking it's toll on my marriage. I'm not on the pill (messes me up) so we use condoms. Before we ... it's a huge fight about a condom or no condom. The fight continues til the next morning and it's an on going fight about babies. Right now were barely even talking. I know it's mostly my fault because some days i'll say lets try and 5 minutes later I'm like nope. What can I do?? UGH!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Mar. 12, 2010 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • If you want to wait awhile and don't want the akward condom or no condom chit chat before the deed.....maybe go for a diff. form of BC.My hubby and I have one daughter and we both want another one just not right now. I have the IUD so there is no yes or no or oops..... so you can pick when you feel right and ready for more children. I think it has to be a joint decision and you should be spending quality time with your hubby and family when he is home and not arguing about babies!! You should tell him why you don't want babies now or if you do at all! Good luck to you!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Explain your feelings, if he doesn't get it.. maybe have some outside help ( counselor) help you two work this out. If you give in before your ready you could end up resenting him and he could end up resenting you for not giving in. P.S. We're military ( 20 years) and have more than one kid. You can do it, if it's something you truly desire!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:44 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I'm just done with fighting were sleeping in different ROOMS! I love him and I know he loves me it's just this damn baby thing..

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:45 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • why does he insist on babies??? you are a busy mom and he needs to know you are just not ready......TALK it out. that's what marriage is about!!!!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:51 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Believe me I have told him the cons and pros to everything I'm feeling. He is a wonderful father I could not ask for more in that aspect. He just wants lots and lots of kids.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Talk. Being a flip flopper will not help. "I know it's mostly my fault because some days i'll say lets try and 5 minutes later I'm like nope." I can see how he could get confused and fustrated. I can also see your point of view. Just sit down and really talk to him.

    Good luck

    Answer by 4xsthetrouble at 2:04 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Many men are insecure when they deploy. They want to keep their woman pregnant so she won't cheat while he's gone. It's silly but it's a male mentality. He doesn't want another baby. He wants to feel secure while he's gone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN