Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Why do men tend to change their minds when wanting a stay-at-home mom as a partner?

A wife just got a shocking request from dh. She will have to look for a part time job. Dh is offering to babysit while she is working. Wife will have to work during hours after 5pm or on weekends.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on Mar. 12, 2010 in Politics & Current Events

This question is closed.
Answers (134)
  • I'm most likely going to sound like a real bitch right now. But so be it.
    I agree with what some others have eluded to. Maybe he is trying to get her out of the house and out doing something for HER well being. Maybe she's totally let herself go, maybe she's depressed, maybe she complains a lot about being stuck at home with the kids all the time w/no adult interaction. ect Women here on CM complain about these very things everyday, or sit and talk about how they don't need to wear anything other than PJ's & sweats, they don't need to keep themselves together because they are a "mom" now. Maybe SHE needs to get out of the house, for HER.
    I won't lie. If I were the one out working/earning a living. And I came home day after day to a SAHD who did nothing but bitch/complain about being at home, never shaved, wore the same damn sweats day after day.ect. I would want him to get out & get a job too. Just for his well being.
    pixie_trix

    Answer by pixie_trix at 5:04 PM on Mar. 13, 2010

  • Maybe they are struggling financially?

    Soniam301

    Answer by Soniam301 at 9:09 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Gee, I wouldn't know anything about that though. I have only been married once and my dh would never tell me I had to work for any reason. Don't know where that stat came from.
    itsmesteph11

    Answer by itsmesteph11 at 9:11 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Maybe they are struggling financially?

    No. They are not. OP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Not all men do, My husband would work 2 full time jobs before asking me to look for a job. Maybe he decide what they have he doesn't want anymore.
    Mrs.Owen86

    Answer by Mrs.Owen86 at 9:16 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Not all men do, My husband would work 2 full time jobs before asking me to look for a job. Maybe he decide what they have he doesn't want anymore.

    I was thinking the same thing. OP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Maybe he's feelingpeer pressure from other men who have wives that work. Maybe he's feeling stressed having the entire financial burden on himself. Maybe he thinks his wife will be happier if she has something to do outside of the home and without the kids. Maybe he's stressed with work and feels his wife doesn't understand. Maybe he's having thoughts of leaving, but would feel guilty if his wife couldn't support herself. Really it could be any number of things, but it does seem odd that he is demanding it out of the blue. I suspect after he does Dad duty without mom around for back up he may change his mind and want her back home.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • It sounds to me like perhaps he resents having to get up and go out everyday while she sits at home.

    DON'T take that wrong - I stay at home; I know it isn't a piece of cake or just hanging out all day - but from his perspective it's still a better gig than having to go out and work from someone else at some pissy job all day.

    Let me tell you - my DH doesn't have to go to work til 10 and he gets off at 6 like everyone else - I resent the hell out of the fact that I have to be up at 7AM / 7 days a week - even though he goes and works his ass off to support us; it's irritating as hell that he gets to sleep 3 xtra hours every day while I'm up getting the house in order the kids off to school; the little one fed etc...

    He probably didn't think at first it would bother him as much as it does - they need to talk about it...I know I'm being irrational so I deal...etc...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:20 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I don't know maybe he is envious of others who may have more material things then he and instead of taking on another job he wants his wife to get one? I think it would be a stupid reason but might be a possibility.

    Another possibility..maybe the wife is showing signs of becoming overly stressed at home with the kids and he thinks a part time job outside of the home would be good for her? This one might not be that likely because instead he could advise her to get a hobby separate from the home and children.

    Maybe the wife tends to over spend on frivilous things and he is feeling heavily burdoned?

    idk just some possibilities..we'd all have to know more on the situation I think...Personally,I do not have that problem.I am a sahm and my husband has always done whatever it took to take care of us..while I take care of the home and kids its a blessing.
    tnmomofive

    Answer by tnmomofive at 9:21 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • I suspect after he does Dad duty without mom around for back up he may change his mind and want her back home.

    Absolutely accurate. op
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:21 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN