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How do I nicely tell my family to piss off??

My husband and I have been through years of fertility treatments and miscarriages and still borns. We have in the last year decided on adoption and are going through parenting classes to adopt through foster care. We have decided on a 9 year old biracial boy who has had a very rough life. My entire family gave me crap about not getting a baby or a young child. My husbands family gave us crap about the fact that he wouldn't be all white. And they haven't been ugly about it or rude, just little comments that really make me angry. How do I nicely tell them to shut the hell up and let us live our lives? I know they won't be ugly to the child but those little comments are starting to really aggravate me!!

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:29 AM on Mar. 12, 2010 in Just for Fun

Answers (8)
  • Honestly, I'd tell them this is your decision, this child needs a home and you and your DH will provide a loving environment to the child. If they can't respect that tell them to keep their nasty, off-hand comments to themselves or just bug off.

    Good for you and DH for adopting this child. Good luck!

    Answer by saphire_eyes802 at 10:32 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Girl you are doing a wonderful thing! Do not let them take your joy away, if they keep it up tell them that you do not appreciate their comments and if they cannot say anything nice them kindly shut the hell up.

    You will not ever get approval from everyone and familes are the worst for voicing their unsolicited opinions. :)

    Answer by chefronswife at 10:32 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • i would tell them how you feel and if they keep at it after that flat out tell them that you're gonna stop talking to them if they don't knock it off with the nasty comments. you don't have to be rude to be to the point. just say look, we've made our decision already. we expect you to be supportive of us and our son bc you're our family and we love you. we expect you to treat us with the love and respect we show you. if you can't do this then we're gonna have to stop talking to you.

    Answer by princessbeth79 at 10:33 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • just be honest & if they can't except your child then tell them they can't except you or hubby.. good posting princessbeth79 I agree

    Answer by maiahlynn at 10:40 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • You're doing a great thing. If they can't understand that, screw them. Maybe say that this isn't just for the child, but will be wonderful for you and that OBVIOUSLY it would be better if we could all pick our family. Then just let the comment hang there. Maybe they'll get it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Tell them that the child has had a rough life and desreves a mom and dad to love him and raise him and protect him and that if they can't understand that then they have a prob., so to back off.

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 11:10 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • Forget nicely, try bluntly, and remind them that if they continue to make the little passive aggressive comments after the child arrives they will not be welcome in your home. Either they think they are being subtle or they don't realize how rude they are, and either way, that does not mean they won't be equally rude when the child is around, only that they'll do it without accepting responsibility for it.

    Answer by NotPanicking at 11:15 AM on Mar. 12, 2010

  • If you don't nip this in the bud those same comments everyone is making that is bothering you your new child will eventually hear them and they will sadden him and make him feel alienated from the very family that should be welcoming him with open arms.  

    Right now you're is voice and you should say "look people if yall can't get ya'll act together and celebrate this wonderful time for us then bounce.  Make this like an acting class and sell it people sell it.  Make me believe, make him believe it hell make total strangers believe it .  Win the got damn academy award with this!.  If not don't count on seeing me, my husband and our son until ya get ya asses in gear"



    Answer by Ladybugkisses76 at 1:01 PM on Mar. 12, 2010

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